Sunday, September 25, 2011

You know why I don't go parachuting? Because the first time you go you have to do it in a tandem jump, with an instructor on your back. Now what if that instructor cuts the harness so that he's the only one with the parachute, and you have to hold on to him for dear life to survive, and he bends your arms up on your back and sticks his cock in your ass and tells you the only way you're getting down alive is to clench your sphincter so hard it'll keep you attached to his body all 10 000 meters down?

This could happen to you.

And that's why I don't go parachuting.

In other news, I've spent the past few weeks lying on the floor watching old episodes of Dexter, because I've been too fucking depressed to do anything else. I still kind of am, but I figured I owed you guys an update.
Atleast the upside is that moving abroad seems like a better and better option every day. Come winter, I'm gonna sell everything I can't fit in a backpack and just fuck off.

17 comments:

Hasidic Plumber said...

Absolutely, parachute instructors are well known faggots. So yeah, i wouldn't go parachuting either. I'm not fond of the idea of getting my poo pushed inside again by a stranger (or anyone) at 10.000 meters.

escapist said...

I actually wanted to go parachuting, but now that you put it this way, it's not the nicest way to start learning, I guess.
Dexter is awesome, can't wait for the new season - hope it won't be a letdown.
I really want to move abroad too; if you would, which place would you choose?

Astaroth said...

that mental image is terrifying.
wow.
but I actually want to go parachuting, and the instructor at my uni is a woman so I doubt i'll get raped.

Jay said...

it would probably be fun if you had the hots for the instructor. ;)

Generally Disgruntled said...

I have never had that thought about parachuting. Now I will. Looks like I will not be parachuting any time soon

Generally Disgruntled said...

I wish I had anything worth any money to sell and fuck off out of this place

The Dawg said...

This is why you should always wear baggy clothes, that way you can keep yourself afloat even if your instructor tries to kill you.

Shaw said...

Getting raped in the sky?
That's a new one.

Mark said...

I hadn't thought of that, now I have another reason to not give sky diving a go.

Kid Shuffle said...

meh parachuting could still be fun though. the dying possibility is half the fun

Gizmo said...

And what if instructor is female? :D
+follow :P

DWei said...

You know, there are female instructors too. You could fall down with her boobs pressed into your back all the way down.

A Lunatic Pope said...

I would so go parachuting in a heartbeat. I'm a bit of a thrill seeker though. I really want to bungie jump sometime too. And wrestle tigers.

blorriepoes said...

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Devour said...

I dont think ill ever go sky diving or anything like that. Im okay "]

cheshire said...

Hahaha, if I had read this post before going skydiving I might have had second thoughts -- luckily, my tandem bro didn't cut my harness and bend me over and all the rest; it would have dirtied the experience somewhat.