Sunday, September 25, 2011

You know why I don't go parachuting? Because the first time you go you have to do it in a tandem jump, with an instructor on your back. Now what if that instructor cuts the harness so that he's the only one with the parachute, and you have to hold on to him for dear life to survive, and he bends your arms up on your back and sticks his cock in your ass and tells you the only way you're getting down alive is to clench your sphincter so hard it'll keep you attached to his body all 10 000 meters down?

This could happen to you.

And that's why I don't go parachuting.

In other news, I've spent the past few weeks lying on the floor watching old episodes of Dexter, because I've been too fucking depressed to do anything else. I still kind of am, but I figured I owed you guys an update.
Atleast the upside is that moving abroad seems like a better and better option every day. Come winter, I'm gonna sell everything I can't fit in a backpack and just fuck off.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I have cactus fertilizer in my pants. Don't ask.

I also sold my tv so now I can afford to buy medicine for my dog and shampoo for myself. Yay! Not that I expect to get a job interview soon, but I do suspect the chances of landing a job are greater if I don't look like a pile of driftwood. Which is what I do when I don't wash my hair, since I haven't had a haircut since March. That shit is expensive here.

So, I've decided that if I don't get a job by winter, I'm moving abroad for a year instead. The alternative is living under a bridge and I'm just not too interested in doing that in a country as cold as this one.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Hi guise,
you're fucking awesome. I've had a more or less involuntary break in blogging that will probably last a wee bit longer, but your comments make me want to get right back on the bloghorse asap. Which I will, mind you, it just won't be right now.

I've been having these extreme headaches for a few weeks now and my insomnia is getting ridiculous. My doctor prescribed me the same sleeping meds they allegedly give to fighter pilots so hopefully that'll sort shit out a bit. He also suggested a bunch of relaxation techniques for my headaches, that hasn't helped at all so far but maybe it'll just take a while, I dunno. Or maybe it's a brain tumor (if it is I hope it looks like Krang from the Turtles) and it's laughing at me for trying to relax it away. If that's the case, that joke is certainly on Krang cause if there is one thing I know for sure, it's that I have very little use for my brain anyway.


EDIT: Oh, by the way, the pictures in my previous post are all taken on the peninsula where I live. The place where the first scene in The Seventh Seal was shot is a 20 minute drive from my place. Now you should know enough to figure out where it is. I'll guide you around if you want to come visit, but you should be aware that my knife never sleeps.