Thursday, June 30, 2011

yes, I mad.

Some argue that, because more and more people are getting bit by dogs, we should enforce restrictions regarding what breeds of dogs should be allowed and where dogs should be allowed. Discussions are also held regarding how to prevent dogs from biting. Some suggest various more or less painful ways of restraining them.

The problem is, dogs generally bite because humans don't know how to handle them. Sucking even more at handling them is not going to make things better. Therefor, using the same logic, I suggest that we cure the cause of the problem rather than the symptom, by handcuffing all humans to lamp posts. This would also prevent theft, battery, rape, and a range of other issues. I don't know why we're not doing this already, it would solve so many problems eh?

...or we could just make sure people know what the fuck they're doing before they're allowed to do it. That goes for a lot of things.

(and yes, I do know what it feels like to be bitten, I almost lost an eye to a dog. And learned from it.)

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Now that I'm out of university after an extremely intense final year, I find it hard to occupy myself in my time off. I've kind of gotten accustomed to hurling ridiculous amounts of information into my poor head during all my waking hours and it's actually a challenge to not have to do that anymore. I'll be unemployed in about a month too, which is going to be even worse. I'm going to resort to stupidities like measuring toilet paper, writing serious blog entries, and trying to shave my fingers, again. Well, atleast I'll have time to actually learn how to spell the word "apparantly" correctly, I mess that one up like 70% of the time.

Other news of importance:

1) I just picked the first cherry of the summer off the tree and it was good.

2) I'm out of wet wipes. I don't like such rapid changes in my life.

Monday, June 27, 2011

I am quite likely the clumsiest motherfucker on the planet. Or atleast among the top ten. Among other things I've accomplished in my life, I've kicked a heater during taekwondo practice. Four times. I've punched a freezer. I've accidentally stabbed my boyfriend with a butter knife. I've managed to pinch my ass to the toilet seat. Twice.

Yesterday I had one of the weirdest experiences though. I got my boob stuck in a door handle, I kid you not.

Sunday, June 26, 2011



Also, fuckin' lol'd
Mother of fucking god no wonder I'm fat. My boyfriend made pizza for breakfast today (at 3 pm so I guess technically it's not breakfast, but whatever). Two kinds of meat, three kinds of cheese. I ate two slices and I've been morbidly full all day. I'm gonna die from a heart attack one of these days and it'll all be his fault. But atleast I'll die full and I won't hurt myself hitting the floor cause of the natural airbag of human flesh protecting my brittle bones.


Also, more politics.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Today is midsummer's eve, the day when Swedes leave their homes to gather at meadows and prance around a giant phallos clad in flowers. And get drunk, obviously. If there is one thing Swedes enjoy more than leapfrogging around a giant phallos, it's being drunk.

I haven't partaken in such activities since I was old enough to violently protest, which I was at the age of four. I was a regular Jean Claude van Damme at four. Unfortunately when I refused to obey the cry of the giant cock I wasn't allowed to drink either. That was a miscalculation on my part. Could be the age-thing too, but I like to blame the monstrum in the meadow.


Today however, I am a lot older than four. Old enough, in fact, to buy my own damn alcohol and not give a fuck about the meadow-phallos, or any other phallos, unless it belongs to Geralt of Rivia, with whom I will be spending my day. Today is the one day in all summer I'm guaranteed to not get called to work with a two hour notice, and I will make proper use of it.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

I just had one of those rare right here right now-moments when taking my dog out for her evening crap. It's like a filter surrounding your brain suddenly comes off and you just.. notice things in a way you don't normally do.
Tilda and I play this game in the evenings, where I run off and hide somewhere when she's busy peeing or eating grass or whatever, and then she looks for me and I give her a piece of candy when she finds me. Today I was hiding behind the giant blob of bamboo in the backyard, and while I was waiting for her my senses were kind of hitched up a notch for a few minutes.

I hunkered down under the bamboo, the smell of rain and earth suddenly intensified. I drew my hand over the grass, really felt the texture and moistness on my skin. I closed my eyes and listened, distinguishing different sounds from one another. A distaint train. A neighbor's phone ringing. Three birds having what sounded like a pleasant conversation. The wind in the trees. Tilda's panting. And the smell was incredible. The sky moody and gray, the plants drooping under the weight of the rain. The greenery just so ridiculously green. A slowly trickling drop of water leaving a momentary wet trace on a leaf.

When Tilda found me I listened to the sound her wagging tail made in the bamboo. I studied the hairs in her fur, the specks in her golden eyes, the warmth of her breath on my face. The single straw of grass stuck on her tongue. The feel of her gently nuzzling my fingers, looking for her candy.

It only lasted a moment, but it was a bliss. Afterwards I felt rested in a way I very rarely do. It's been a long time since I had a moment like that. Reminded me that I'm alive, and that that's not an entirely negative thing to be even if, for the most part, it's overrated.


Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.
- Oscar Wilde
I'm actually really fucking happy today. I got the examiner's comments to my second master thesis. Among other things, he wrote this:

"Notably, her observations – as well as her representation of the ‘findings’ of the observation method in the thesis – is close to brilliant. It reveals a sharp and self-reflective researcher, poignant capture of significant material, and a concerned flair for dilemmas and ethics".

I was so certain I'd completely fucked that shit up it almost made me cry with relief and happiness. Losers need little victories to avoid them getting demoralised you see.

I also got a really sweet letter from the thai lady I met in Japan last year, which made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. We've been writing eachother once every couple of months since we met and it's always really nice to hear from her. She's such an incredibly kind person and it makes me really happy to know there are people like her out there, untouched by all the asscancer-humans in the world. If everyone had a friend like her I bet there would be a lot less anger and tension and sadness out there.

Monday, June 20, 2011

This is fascinating yet really disgusting. Not sure if want.


Had an awesome day at work today. Started at 7 am but it was raining so hard we had to stop at 8:30 and wait for hours before being able to get back to work. I spent the time playing Witcher 2 and talking trash with my coworkers G and J. I've come to like them a lot, they're both really fucking funny.

Oscar and I went to see Super8 yesterday. Spoilers ahead:
Some things were completely off storywise, some things just ridiculous (derailing a train with a car causing approximately half the planet to explode? Seriously?), and the ending was pretty tacky. But I'm willing to forgive cause the train scene was indeed awesome, the kids were fucking amazing actors, there were plenty of sweet action scenes and some really nice subtlety amidst all the shoving-mom-grief-down-your-throat. All in all, a nice story with appealing characters. I do wonder though, why the hell did the alien need some kid to tell it a dr Phil-quote before it could go home?


In other news: They've opened a clothes shop in my village. This is funny for two reasons. One: There are three shops that have made it for longer than six months here; a place for cow fodder, a place that sells (very old) groceries at outrageous prices, and a pizza place. The chances of a clothes shop making it are pretty low, especially considering reason number two: They sell the kind of clothes that only MC Hammer could wear with pride. This town is full of inbred rednecks, not pimps and time traveling cokeheads from the 80s. I'm sorry they lied to you.


Also, I ate a liter of strawberries yesterday and today my ass sounds like a geiger counter. In case you were wondering.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Oscar, Tilda and I went for a hike in the rain today. It was awesome. The only part of me still dry when I came home was a small triangle between my shoulderblades. Despite hoodie and jacket. We had planned to be out for way longer but the drizzle became a downpour after only a few kilometers and my poor dog hates rain so we cut it short after bravely bearing it for three hours.

Next time we're off to Väderön (directly translates to Weather Island). I haven't been there since I was a kid so that's gonna be pretty nice.

Also, moar crying:

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Got top marks on my societal security-thesis, which is pretty awesome. Still waiting for the comments and marks on the other one. I would celebrate but I don't have any friends and celebrating alone is kinda sad and retarded so I guess I'll refrain.

Still. Feels good man.

Also, best cry ever:

Monday, June 13, 2011

Also, good stuff.
Had a couple of crazy busy days, which is exactly how I like it. Lots of working and a wee bit of partying this weekend kept me off the computer for a while. It's been really nice. Oscar and I went to his cousin's graduation party on friday, saturday I got New Shoes of Awesome (my old ones consist more of holes than shoes, they've been held together by tape the past few months), and Oscar took me out for lunch. We proceeded to hang out with the coolest infant in the world (she's like two years old and a fullfledged gamer) and her family, whilst eating barbecue and drinking beer. Had to go home much to early on saturday night cause I had to work again yesterday.

Now that I'm practically done with school (I have some minor changes to make in one thesis before turning in the final version) and have about a month left of work, I guess I have to start thinking about the future for real. This far I'm down to a few different paths I could take.

1. Get a job in Sweden doing societal security-stuff. It's really well paid but pretty boring, and it would require me staying here, which I don't want.

2. Do a working holiday-thing for a year. I could go to Australia, New Zealand or Canada. Definately considering this.

3. Migrate for real. Also considering this.

4. Be unemployed and kill myself because I can't afford to live. Not really considering this.

The issue, a pretty vital one for me, is that if I stay I get to keep Oscar and my dog (which, obviously, I want very much) but I'll have to stay in Sweden, which is not a particularly desireable option. And if I go, I'll get to do the things I want to do (which is be free, explore, grow as a person, gain awesome experiences, have friends, etc), but I'll lose the only ones I have left to love, the ones who have kept me sane the past year and a half. Oscar is the first and only human being who has ever made me feel like a real person. I don't know how I could give that up. But I can't give up myself either. Not again.

I have to get a driver's license and save up before I can move abroad in any case, so I still have six months or so to think about it (providing I can even get a job to save up in the first place). But whichever happens, part of me is going to be very unhappy.

Friday, June 10, 2011

According to our government, sick and dying people stop being sick and dying if only you force them to work. Using the same logic, old people should stop aging if only we stopped letting them retire. I never thought finding the key to eternal life would be so easy.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Me: Hi Steam! I want to play some Witcher 2. I've only had time to play twice since I got the game and now I be itchin' for some Geralt.

Steam: lol no, I have to update.

Me: Aw. Well. I can wait a while I guess. How long is it gonna take?

Steam: 4½ hours :D:D:D:D

Me: D:


Edit: It still says 4½ hours left, after half an hour. Silly Steam, why do you have do this on my one day off? NOW what am I supposed to waste my time on to forget for a while that life is meaningless?

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

picchas

Photos I've taken this spring but haven't bothered uploading before.



Turkish mobile network operator.


Rich-people-store in Istanbul.



My dog chilling in one of our favourite spots.



Moar dog chillin'



Barbecue of Awesome. That's meat, tomatoes, portabella mushrooms, leek and paprika on the skewers.



Dessert of Awesome. Barbecued banana with dark chocolate inside.



Oscar's birthday bat-cookies



The view I had when lying on my back in the grass on my lunch break the other day.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Update 1: I was told my thesis was really great. That felt good after what felt like a miserable failure with the other one.

Update 2: There is a toad in my shower.
Presenting my thesis online from home is pretty awesome. I'm on Cracked.com while not really paying attention to the boring presentations about historical floods and stuff. I'm also not wearing pants. This is the first time I've attended university without pants.

Oh Internet, how you improve my chances of learning important things.


Also: this is hilarious

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Min brorsa har levt hela sitt vuxna liv med en månadsinkomst på under 3000 spänn, trots att han på sina många praktikplatser faktiskt jobbat heltid i flera år totalt. Han blev dessutom återbetalningsskyldig på 12000 för ett fel försäkringskassan erkänt att de gjort, men han får betala för enligt de nya reglerna.

Nu är det morsans tur att bli rövknullad av försäkringskassan. Hon ska opereras i axlarna i mitten av juni och behöver ledigt i ungefär en månad för att återhämta sig efter det. Får hon några pengar? Knappast. Hon har ju bara så ont att hon inte kan öppna ett fönster eller ens borsta sitt eget jävla hår, det finns säkert massor med fiktiva saker hon kan göra på jobbet som dagisfröken. Dit hon för övrigt fortfarande går, trots att hon gråter av smärta varje morgon och kväll, eftersom hon inte har något val.

Men vad fan gör det att fattiga och sjuka människor plågas när medelklassen kan tjäna ett par hundra extra i månaden på det.

Ett råd: investera pengarna i skottsäkert glas till dina fönster och en rejäl ståldörr. Det kommer behövas.