Thursday, February 3, 2011

My granddad came over when I was at mom's today. He's one of the ancient deities of this retarded little village, one of those old farts everyone for some inexplicable reason sucks up to. Probably because he was the first settler here 12 000 years ago. Anyway.
He told me to "stop going to school and get a job" cause I'm "almost middle aged" and that "you can't fit that much knowledge in one head anyway". This coming from a guy who recieved a mindboggling five years of schooling and never opened a book since so he sure knows what he's talking about. Since I'm always and only surrounded by the exact opposite of geniuses and I'm chronically close to committing murder/suicide out of sheer frustration because of them, I was going to ask him if it was better that I got a piece of shit job and turned out like my mom, aged 55, alcoholic, in chronic pain and unable to afford even, for example, basic dental care. I was also going to tell him that a person who thinks that being an ignorant primate is admirable is not exactly the kind of person I have any interest in speaking to. I couldn't though, cause my mom cut in and started laughing her nervous "daddy's always right even when he tells me to fill my nostrils with glue"-laugh and got him out the door.

You know, sometimes I'm under this delusion that maybe, somewhere, there is a place where I could fit in and have friends and a job and a life and not have to put up with condescending, ignorant cunts and hate every second of my existence. Right now is not one of those times. Right now is one of those times I sit for hours staring at my collection of prescription sleeping pills trying to think of reasons not to take them all.

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