Tuesday, October 18, 2011

I know, I know, I'm getting worse and worse at this. I'm so sick/depressed lately I can't even be assed to write in this stupid thing, even less do anything useful.
The other day I found huge, gray slimy patches of mold in the ceiling and on the wall behind my closets, which explains why I've been sick for such a long time. I thought it was just the whole being a female neckbeard that got me sick and sad, but I should have known better. I mean, Batman lives in his parents' basement and he's way cooler than I'll ever be, so that shouldn't bother me that much right?
Anyway, I'm sleeping on the floor in the living room now, which sucks but atleast my sickness is getting better. And my dog loves it, she lies next to me and stares me in the eyes and slaps me enthusiastically with her paw every time she suspects I'm gonna stop scratching her and go to sleep. My insomnia is grateful to her, it really needed help now that I've got bitch-strong sleeping meds.

So, for now I'm focusing on recovering. Once I'm back on my feet I'm gonna start working out really hard again. Think I'm gonna pick up another language too. Gotta have something to do the next few months before moving across the planet.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

You know why I don't go parachuting? Because the first time you go you have to do it in a tandem jump, with an instructor on your back. Now what if that instructor cuts the harness so that he's the only one with the parachute, and you have to hold on to him for dear life to survive, and he bends your arms up on your back and sticks his cock in your ass and tells you the only way you're getting down alive is to clench your sphincter so hard it'll keep you attached to his body all 10 000 meters down?

This could happen to you.

And that's why I don't go parachuting.

In other news, I've spent the past few weeks lying on the floor watching old episodes of Dexter, because I've been too fucking depressed to do anything else. I still kind of am, but I figured I owed you guys an update.
Atleast the upside is that moving abroad seems like a better and better option every day. Come winter, I'm gonna sell everything I can't fit in a backpack and just fuck off.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I have cactus fertilizer in my pants. Don't ask.

I also sold my tv so now I can afford to buy medicine for my dog and shampoo for myself. Yay! Not that I expect to get a job interview soon, but I do suspect the chances of landing a job are greater if I don't look like a pile of driftwood. Which is what I do when I don't wash my hair, since I haven't had a haircut since March. That shit is expensive here.

So, I've decided that if I don't get a job by winter, I'm moving abroad for a year instead. The alternative is living under a bridge and I'm just not too interested in doing that in a country as cold as this one.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Hi guise,
you're fucking awesome. I've had a more or less involuntary break in blogging that will probably last a wee bit longer, but your comments make me want to get right back on the bloghorse asap. Which I will, mind you, it just won't be right now.

I've been having these extreme headaches for a few weeks now and my insomnia is getting ridiculous. My doctor prescribed me the same sleeping meds they allegedly give to fighter pilots so hopefully that'll sort shit out a bit. He also suggested a bunch of relaxation techniques for my headaches, that hasn't helped at all so far but maybe it'll just take a while, I dunno. Or maybe it's a brain tumor (if it is I hope it looks like Krang from the Turtles) and it's laughing at me for trying to relax it away. If that's the case, that joke is certainly on Krang cause if there is one thing I know for sure, it's that I have very little use for my brain anyway.


EDIT: Oh, by the way, the pictures in my previous post are all taken on the peninsula where I live. The place where the first scene in The Seventh Seal was shot is a 20 minute drive from my place. Now you should know enough to figure out where it is. I'll guide you around if you want to come visit, but you should be aware that my knife never sleeps.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

I went to the dentist the other day. He was so impressed with my teeth that he wanted them for himself. So he pulled out my teeth and then his own, and inserted his teeth into my mouth and my teeth into his. It was very distressing and I was really upset to be stuck with someone elses teeth. Especially since they were too big for my mouth.

Luckily I woke up a few minutes later. I don't generally look forward to seeing my dentist, but I'm even less inclined to cheer when I have to see him now. Hopefully this is one dream that won't come true.

When I haven't been dreaming I've been spending a lot of time here:


and here:



and with these guys:


and, always, with her:



I'm considering writing an actual serious and personal post one of these days. Maybe I'll get my butt out of my ass and do it if I get bored enough with skipping around on the beach.

Monday, August 15, 2011

You gotta ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well do ya, punk? I do. Same day I completely ran out of money I got a tax return that'll keep me afloat for another couple of weeks. I really, really need a job now. I'm considering roaming the streets, beating people up for money. Chances are they don't have any money either though. Life should be more like a vidya in that sense. Killing rats to take their cash would totally work well for me.

Being more or less unemployed also turns me into a complete hermit. I don't have any friends in this town and my family is batshit insane so I'd rather avoid them. Actually a lot of my time is spent actively avoiding said family, after I had to file a restraining order for my dad and aunt, so I can't spend as much time outdoors as I'd like to in case they're around. And it's a small place, so there's a pretty big chance of running into them if I'm not careful.

So yeah, I stay inside a lot and I'm alone a lot. If I didn't have Oscar and my dog I'd be going completely nuts. Speaking of nuts we spent an entire night discussing which super heroes we believe shave their balls. Tony Stark is a giveaway, I wouldn't be surprised if Dick Grayson does too. Cyclops probably does. What do you guys think?

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Why, oh why, can idiots not get their own fucking planet and leave mine alone?

This, fucking this.


On the other hand, this is awesome and spot on.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

I know, I've been increasingly sucky at writing (not to mention reading) blog entries. I've been having massive trouble with my whore of a laptop. I'm also trying to squeeze the last few drops out of summer before it's all gone, and that is something best done offline, so you're probably gonna have to put up with my semi-absence a bit longer.

Spent most of my weekend sitting outside reading Watchmen, which is such a fucking fantastic piece of grim awesomeness that if you haven't read it already, I will personally come over and flick your teeth over and over until you do. Or, well, I would, but I got brownies in the oven so you'll just have to imagine me doing it. Or maybe I'll outsource that specific task and you can flick your own teeth until you've read Watchmen, and I'll give you a brownie for the trouble.

While you're at it, you should play Limbo (it's on PSN or Steam), which is an itty bitty platform/puzzle game. It only takes an evening to finish and it's pretty easy, but it's incredibly atmospheric and eerie and brilliant and deserves your immediate affection.


EDIT:
I just noticed that someone has been diligently googling to find out who I am.


Whoever you are, you've found my boyfriend, and considering I use this nickname for virtually everything, you've probably also figured out my name and where I live by now. Not that I know why anyone would want that, but each to his own.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

No I'm not dead, I've just been really busy. And then sick. And then really busy again.

Last night I dreamt that I was out driving a motorboat on a river, in the dark and the rain. Suddenly the boat lurched as a man emerged from the water and pulled himself into it. It turned out to be Johnny Depp. "Please", he panted, "you have to help me remember the lyrics to this Barry White song I've had in my head all day. I can hum it but I cant sing it and it's driving me mad. Please, help me". He sat down on my lap and told me to admire his boots. They were black and made from rubber. I told him they were nice and he nodded. We then spent about fifteen minutes trying to work out the Barry White lyrics he needed. Not sure how, I don't know a single song of his, but it was a dream so I suppose it doesn't have to make sense. When we were done Johnny Depp thanked me and asked me what the score was. I told him I had no idea what he was talking about. "Right, well I'll be on my way then" he said, patted me on the back and lunged himself out of the boat, into the river.

And then I woke up. And as always, I was disappointed at how much awake-reality sucks in comparisation to sleep-reality.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

I wasn't really going to post a video again today but this is too awesome (as long as you can ignore the smugness and listen to what he's actually saying).

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The name of my town is an old word for tomb. It's incredibly approporiate. Holy razornburn Batman I'm sick of this place.


In other news (though probably old by now): cover song of the year.

Monday, July 25, 2011

I rarely find myself without words. Trying to wrap my head around the massacre in Norway where almost 90 kids lost their lives this weekend is pretty hard though. The deed itself was bad enough, the outcries of hate and racism and general bigotry afterwards.. didn't really help. The Norwegian government handled it all extremely well but they can't stop single minded idiots from voicing their opinions. It's kind of weird to say it, but I'm glad the guy who did it eventually turned out to be white.

A lot of so-called experts were surprised to find out muslim fundamentalists weren't behind it. Some called it an act of terror for as long as they thought brown people were doing the shooting, when they found it was a single white guy, all of a sudden it wasn't terrorism anymore. Just like that he was just some deranged guy who played too much World of Warcraft instead. It's like there only are two kinds of killers; middle easterners and gamers.

Realitycheck.

Between 2006 and 2009, 1 770 acts of terror were commited in Europe. Six of them were connected to muslim fundamentalists. That makes 0,34%.
1 596 acts of terrorism, or 90,2%, were connected to right wing fundamentalists.

And I bet not even that many of them played WoW.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Really tired today so I'm not gonna post any of my usual stupid rants. Just wanted to share this because it's fucking hilarious. Dem asians in particular are awesome.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

People are getting fatter. Everyone knows that. What's kind of weird though, is that so are wild animals. Some of it can possibly be blamed on the junk food lying around for rats and other animals to find. However, primates and rodents in the National Toxicology Program, an inter-agency program run by the United States Department of Health and Human Services, are also getting fatter. Despite being on a strict diet.

One reason could be bisphenol-A in their systems, which, if it's true, implicates some pretty bad things for all of us.

I'm in an untergang kind of mood today, must be because of all the paint fumes I've inhaled. I have a four day painting job. If it was in the Sistine Chapel I would've done Adam a favor and drawn his dick bigger, but alas, I am only painting an average house.
One of these days I'm gonna have to get a real job. But considering the 8% unemployment rate it's not going to be soon. My fellow farmhands at the place I worked at before? A biochemist and a computer engineer. Waste of talent? Maybe. Waste of student loans? NGH YES.

Two completely unrelated things:

1. My boyfriend just told me he wants to have sex with Jared from ScrewAttack. I'm okay with this.

2. I'm considering getting a rowing machine. Those of you who actually know what you're doing, would you mind telling me if this is a ridiculous idea or not?

Monday, July 18, 2011

Well shit, my weekend didn't turn out lazy at all. I ended up having to work 12 hour shifts both saturday and sunday. I don't particularly mind though since this was my last week and I needed all the extra work I could get. So during the past two days I've contibuted to putting 24 tons of fresh food on your collective table. I can live with that. It was a good way to end the season.

Interestingly enough, there's rarely food on my own table, atleast none that seem to be meant for me. Or so my cat says. She's made a habit out of stealing my breakfast. She loves yoghurt with cereal, especially the kind that has pieces of dried fruit in it. Bananas in particular. She also decided she likes toast more than she likes me and vehemently massacres my face if I dare challenge her for it. Oh well, it's not like I don't need the weight loss anyway.

So, I'm now officially out of a job. Anyone need a Swede with two master degrees and a love for sadistic pets? I can swim too.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

It's gonna be a looonely weekend. Dropped my boyfriend off at the trainstation earlier, he's going to Gothenburg to play with his crazy awesome game developer-friends. I wanted to go with him but I lack not only funds but also someone to look after my dog when I'm away, so I had to stay home. Besides, it's probably good for him to get ridiculously drunk with his friends, without me, once in a while.

On my way from the parking lot at the train station, I experienced the wonder that is tourists in this picturesque little piece of shit town. The population here quadruples during June and July (and so do the prices in grocery stores) which is pretty damn inconvenient for those who actually live here. Anyway, in this particular incident some idiot had parked his BMW in the middle of the exit from the parking lot, and had also scattered suitcases all around his car to really make sure not even a bike could squeeze by. A pack of teenagers were buzzing around the car, talking and laughing and not giving a fuck about the long line of cars waiting to get out of there. It took them twenty minutes to put their shit in the trunk (while pausing to giggle and pose every three seconds or so) and get out of the way. I don't know if these people completely lack the ability to think or if it's something they just figure they can do without when they're on vacation so they leave it at home.


So. Rainy alone-weekend with no money and no dogsitter ahead. I think I'm gonna have a Mad Men marathon. While drinking whiskey and wearing a suit, for good measure.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

The past few days there has been a distinct lack of blog entry. I know it was hard on you. It's okay now.

I spent the main part of my weekend getting tipsy hovering around the outskirts of Oscar's parents' all-weekend-party. It's funny, I've never met anyone who can party like they can. They have friends in their late twenties who can barely keep up. It doesn't take much for me to get drunk considering I only drink like twice a year so I don't even bother trying. Oscar and I kept to ourselves most of the time, he fell asleep in a hammock and I sat around playing Game Dev Story, talking to a two year old. She was probably the most coherent person in the house by friday afternoon, and would remain so until monday.

Sunday mainly brought a ton of work. I also visited my maternal grandma. She's got more diseases than skincells and it amazes me every time I see her than she's still alive. She's really nice though, and I should probably see her more often. If nothing else because she's the only relative I have left that isn't completely fucking crazy. I've never even had to file for a restraining order against her, that's pretty special right there.

So yeh, all in all a good weekend. Except for the fact that my old friends Depression and Insomnia are creeping closer all the time despite new meds. Gonna have to do something about that before they start playing serious.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Holy shit today has been weird. I started taking new antidepressants today and they're really fucking with my head. During dinner I started thinking about how hilarious it would be if dogs had human asses and I couldn't stop laughing. I guess I should hope this passes over when I get used to the pills, but I kind of like it this way.

I also like this video.


I'd like to see her try to hug my cat. Chibi is a mean motherfucker.

Lastly for Swedes, a hilarious Jonathan Swift-esque response to SD and immigration politics.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Feeling sickish today so I'm just gonna copout and post some pics I've taken instead of textin'. I quite like them, hope you do too.


Indonesia.



Home.


Home.


Japan.


Norway.



Friend's dog.

"Yes, yes little armless child, I will do as you wish"

My dog on my mom's couch.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Everyone knows someone who tends to invade your personal space right? You're out walking and talking and suddenly you find yourself in the middle of the road cause this person kept coming closer while you kept trying to maintain your distance. Or you're out with a group of friends and this person comes up to talk to you, and after ten minutes you're half a mile away from everyone else cause you have to back away a step every few seconds.

Have you ever.. say.. headbutted them?
...

..yeah me neither.



Also, why doesn't this ever happen here? :(

Monday, July 4, 2011

The past few days have been extremely hot and humid during the day, with almost tropical thunderstorms in the evenings. Yesterday, a city about three hours from where I live recieved more rain in one night than they usually get for the whole summer. And that's in Denmark, which means there are flooded basement cheese shops everywhere. For once I'm glad I live in the countryside where there's enough fields to soak up the water. And not a single basement cheese shop.

My dog got a heatstroke this weekend, which sucked old man-wart, and my computer got trojans, which sucks slightly less but still hard enough to leave teethmarks in said wart. The finger I hurt while caving in Borneo (god it sounds so cool to say that that it's almost worth the chronic injury) aches like a motherfucker. So I've spent my time off playing Eternal Sonata, which sometimes is good and sometimes drives me mad, but so far it's worth the effort. I've seen a few movies that were actually good. I don't really do that very often lately. Lars von Triers Antichrist was fantastic. I've always loved von Trier and Willem Dafoe, and their combined effort is fucking beautiful.
Reservation Road was a bit of a surprise for me. I have a huge ladyboner for both Joaquin Phoenix and Jennifer Connelly and neither disappointed in this movie. It was really refreshing to see something resembling actual mature emotions and intelligence in a ridiculously premised movie about a hit and run.

So yeah, I've had a lazy ass weekend. How was yours?

Friday, July 1, 2011

Poor bin Ladin. Really. With a face like that, the guy probably couldn't have gotten any other jobs than being a terrorist leader if he'd wanted to.
Can you picture that mug on the guy flipping your burger? On a bank clerk? A bouncer? A plumber? A librarian? No, he was fucking destined and doomed for evil.

I bet he went to job interviews all the time and they were like "well your qualifications are perfect but you're just too evil looking. I'm sorry don't kill me". He probably couldn't even deliver news papers as a kid: "Well we could let you have the job if you covered your face in a helmet.. but your beard would probably get stuck in the spokes on the bike's wheel and you'd sue us and/or kill us when half your face was ripped off.. no, I'm sorry, it's just not worth the risk".

And then one day he saw an ad in the newspaper, by someone hiring terrorist leaders, and it was like "must have evil face". And the guy lit up like a fucking christmas tree and knew he'd found his calling.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

yes, I mad.

Some argue that, because more and more people are getting bit by dogs, we should enforce restrictions regarding what breeds of dogs should be allowed and where dogs should be allowed. Discussions are also held regarding how to prevent dogs from biting. Some suggest various more or less painful ways of restraining them.

The problem is, dogs generally bite because humans don't know how to handle them. Sucking even more at handling them is not going to make things better. Therefor, using the same logic, I suggest that we cure the cause of the problem rather than the symptom, by handcuffing all humans to lamp posts. This would also prevent theft, battery, rape, and a range of other issues. I don't know why we're not doing this already, it would solve so many problems eh?

...or we could just make sure people know what the fuck they're doing before they're allowed to do it. That goes for a lot of things.

(and yes, I do know what it feels like to be bitten, I almost lost an eye to a dog. And learned from it.)

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Now that I'm out of university after an extremely intense final year, I find it hard to occupy myself in my time off. I've kind of gotten accustomed to hurling ridiculous amounts of information into my poor head during all my waking hours and it's actually a challenge to not have to do that anymore. I'll be unemployed in about a month too, which is going to be even worse. I'm going to resort to stupidities like measuring toilet paper, writing serious blog entries, and trying to shave my fingers, again. Well, atleast I'll have time to actually learn how to spell the word "apparantly" correctly, I mess that one up like 70% of the time.

Other news of importance:

1) I just picked the first cherry of the summer off the tree and it was good.

2) I'm out of wet wipes. I don't like such rapid changes in my life.

Monday, June 27, 2011

I am quite likely the clumsiest motherfucker on the planet. Or atleast among the top ten. Among other things I've accomplished in my life, I've kicked a heater during taekwondo practice. Four times. I've punched a freezer. I've accidentally stabbed my boyfriend with a butter knife. I've managed to pinch my ass to the toilet seat. Twice.

Yesterday I had one of the weirdest experiences though. I got my boob stuck in a door handle, I kid you not.

Sunday, June 26, 2011



Also, fuckin' lol'd
Mother of fucking god no wonder I'm fat. My boyfriend made pizza for breakfast today (at 3 pm so I guess technically it's not breakfast, but whatever). Two kinds of meat, three kinds of cheese. I ate two slices and I've been morbidly full all day. I'm gonna die from a heart attack one of these days and it'll all be his fault. But atleast I'll die full and I won't hurt myself hitting the floor cause of the natural airbag of human flesh protecting my brittle bones.


Also, more politics.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Today is midsummer's eve, the day when Swedes leave their homes to gather at meadows and prance around a giant phallos clad in flowers. And get drunk, obviously. If there is one thing Swedes enjoy more than leapfrogging around a giant phallos, it's being drunk.

I haven't partaken in such activities since I was old enough to violently protest, which I was at the age of four. I was a regular Jean Claude van Damme at four. Unfortunately when I refused to obey the cry of the giant cock I wasn't allowed to drink either. That was a miscalculation on my part. Could be the age-thing too, but I like to blame the monstrum in the meadow.


Today however, I am a lot older than four. Old enough, in fact, to buy my own damn alcohol and not give a fuck about the meadow-phallos, or any other phallos, unless it belongs to Geralt of Rivia, with whom I will be spending my day. Today is the one day in all summer I'm guaranteed to not get called to work with a two hour notice, and I will make proper use of it.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

I just had one of those rare right here right now-moments when taking my dog out for her evening crap. It's like a filter surrounding your brain suddenly comes off and you just.. notice things in a way you don't normally do.
Tilda and I play this game in the evenings, where I run off and hide somewhere when she's busy peeing or eating grass or whatever, and then she looks for me and I give her a piece of candy when she finds me. Today I was hiding behind the giant blob of bamboo in the backyard, and while I was waiting for her my senses were kind of hitched up a notch for a few minutes.

I hunkered down under the bamboo, the smell of rain and earth suddenly intensified. I drew my hand over the grass, really felt the texture and moistness on my skin. I closed my eyes and listened, distinguishing different sounds from one another. A distaint train. A neighbor's phone ringing. Three birds having what sounded like a pleasant conversation. The wind in the trees. Tilda's panting. And the smell was incredible. The sky moody and gray, the plants drooping under the weight of the rain. The greenery just so ridiculously green. A slowly trickling drop of water leaving a momentary wet trace on a leaf.

When Tilda found me I listened to the sound her wagging tail made in the bamboo. I studied the hairs in her fur, the specks in her golden eyes, the warmth of her breath on my face. The single straw of grass stuck on her tongue. The feel of her gently nuzzling my fingers, looking for her candy.

It only lasted a moment, but it was a bliss. Afterwards I felt rested in a way I very rarely do. It's been a long time since I had a moment like that. Reminded me that I'm alive, and that that's not an entirely negative thing to be even if, for the most part, it's overrated.


Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.
- Oscar Wilde
I'm actually really fucking happy today. I got the examiner's comments to my second master thesis. Among other things, he wrote this:

"Notably, her observations – as well as her representation of the ‘findings’ of the observation method in the thesis – is close to brilliant. It reveals a sharp and self-reflective researcher, poignant capture of significant material, and a concerned flair for dilemmas and ethics".

I was so certain I'd completely fucked that shit up it almost made me cry with relief and happiness. Losers need little victories to avoid them getting demoralised you see.

I also got a really sweet letter from the thai lady I met in Japan last year, which made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. We've been writing eachother once every couple of months since we met and it's always really nice to hear from her. She's such an incredibly kind person and it makes me really happy to know there are people like her out there, untouched by all the asscancer-humans in the world. If everyone had a friend like her I bet there would be a lot less anger and tension and sadness out there.

Monday, June 20, 2011

This is fascinating yet really disgusting. Not sure if want.


Had an awesome day at work today. Started at 7 am but it was raining so hard we had to stop at 8:30 and wait for hours before being able to get back to work. I spent the time playing Witcher 2 and talking trash with my coworkers G and J. I've come to like them a lot, they're both really fucking funny.

Oscar and I went to see Super8 yesterday. Spoilers ahead:
Some things were completely off storywise, some things just ridiculous (derailing a train with a car causing approximately half the planet to explode? Seriously?), and the ending was pretty tacky. But I'm willing to forgive cause the train scene was indeed awesome, the kids were fucking amazing actors, there were plenty of sweet action scenes and some really nice subtlety amidst all the shoving-mom-grief-down-your-throat. All in all, a nice story with appealing characters. I do wonder though, why the hell did the alien need some kid to tell it a dr Phil-quote before it could go home?


In other news: They've opened a clothes shop in my village. This is funny for two reasons. One: There are three shops that have made it for longer than six months here; a place for cow fodder, a place that sells (very old) groceries at outrageous prices, and a pizza place. The chances of a clothes shop making it are pretty low, especially considering reason number two: They sell the kind of clothes that only MC Hammer could wear with pride. This town is full of inbred rednecks, not pimps and time traveling cokeheads from the 80s. I'm sorry they lied to you.


Also, I ate a liter of strawberries yesterday and today my ass sounds like a geiger counter. In case you were wondering.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Oscar, Tilda and I went for a hike in the rain today. It was awesome. The only part of me still dry when I came home was a small triangle between my shoulderblades. Despite hoodie and jacket. We had planned to be out for way longer but the drizzle became a downpour after only a few kilometers and my poor dog hates rain so we cut it short after bravely bearing it for three hours.

Next time we're off to Väderön (directly translates to Weather Island). I haven't been there since I was a kid so that's gonna be pretty nice.

Also, moar crying:

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Got top marks on my societal security-thesis, which is pretty awesome. Still waiting for the comments and marks on the other one. I would celebrate but I don't have any friends and celebrating alone is kinda sad and retarded so I guess I'll refrain.

Still. Feels good man.

Also, best cry ever:

Monday, June 13, 2011

Also, good stuff.
Had a couple of crazy busy days, which is exactly how I like it. Lots of working and a wee bit of partying this weekend kept me off the computer for a while. It's been really nice. Oscar and I went to his cousin's graduation party on friday, saturday I got New Shoes of Awesome (my old ones consist more of holes than shoes, they've been held together by tape the past few months), and Oscar took me out for lunch. We proceeded to hang out with the coolest infant in the world (she's like two years old and a fullfledged gamer) and her family, whilst eating barbecue and drinking beer. Had to go home much to early on saturday night cause I had to work again yesterday.

Now that I'm practically done with school (I have some minor changes to make in one thesis before turning in the final version) and have about a month left of work, I guess I have to start thinking about the future for real. This far I'm down to a few different paths I could take.

1. Get a job in Sweden doing societal security-stuff. It's really well paid but pretty boring, and it would require me staying here, which I don't want.

2. Do a working holiday-thing for a year. I could go to Australia, New Zealand or Canada. Definately considering this.

3. Migrate for real. Also considering this.

4. Be unemployed and kill myself because I can't afford to live. Not really considering this.

The issue, a pretty vital one for me, is that if I stay I get to keep Oscar and my dog (which, obviously, I want very much) but I'll have to stay in Sweden, which is not a particularly desireable option. And if I go, I'll get to do the things I want to do (which is be free, explore, grow as a person, gain awesome experiences, have friends, etc), but I'll lose the only ones I have left to love, the ones who have kept me sane the past year and a half. Oscar is the first and only human being who has ever made me feel like a real person. I don't know how I could give that up. But I can't give up myself either. Not again.

I have to get a driver's license and save up before I can move abroad in any case, so I still have six months or so to think about it (providing I can even get a job to save up in the first place). But whichever happens, part of me is going to be very unhappy.

Friday, June 10, 2011

According to our government, sick and dying people stop being sick and dying if only you force them to work. Using the same logic, old people should stop aging if only we stopped letting them retire. I never thought finding the key to eternal life would be so easy.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Me: Hi Steam! I want to play some Witcher 2. I've only had time to play twice since I got the game and now I be itchin' for some Geralt.

Steam: lol no, I have to update.

Me: Aw. Well. I can wait a while I guess. How long is it gonna take?

Steam: 4½ hours :D:D:D:D

Me: D:


Edit: It still says 4½ hours left, after half an hour. Silly Steam, why do you have do this on my one day off? NOW what am I supposed to waste my time on to forget for a while that life is meaningless?

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

picchas

Photos I've taken this spring but haven't bothered uploading before.



Turkish mobile network operator.


Rich-people-store in Istanbul.



My dog chilling in one of our favourite spots.



Moar dog chillin'



Barbecue of Awesome. That's meat, tomatoes, portabella mushrooms, leek and paprika on the skewers.



Dessert of Awesome. Barbecued banana with dark chocolate inside.



Oscar's birthday bat-cookies



The view I had when lying on my back in the grass on my lunch break the other day.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Update 1: I was told my thesis was really great. That felt good after what felt like a miserable failure with the other one.

Update 2: There is a toad in my shower.
Presenting my thesis online from home is pretty awesome. I'm on Cracked.com while not really paying attention to the boring presentations about historical floods and stuff. I'm also not wearing pants. This is the first time I've attended university without pants.

Oh Internet, how you improve my chances of learning important things.


Also: this is hilarious

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Min brorsa har levt hela sitt vuxna liv med en månadsinkomst på under 3000 spänn, trots att han på sina många praktikplatser faktiskt jobbat heltid i flera år totalt. Han blev dessutom återbetalningsskyldig på 12000 för ett fel försäkringskassan erkänt att de gjort, men han får betala för enligt de nya reglerna.

Nu är det morsans tur att bli rövknullad av försäkringskassan. Hon ska opereras i axlarna i mitten av juni och behöver ledigt i ungefär en månad för att återhämta sig efter det. Får hon några pengar? Knappast. Hon har ju bara så ont att hon inte kan öppna ett fönster eller ens borsta sitt eget jävla hår, det finns säkert massor med fiktiva saker hon kan göra på jobbet som dagisfröken. Dit hon för övrigt fortfarande går, trots att hon gråter av smärta varje morgon och kväll, eftersom hon inte har något val.

Men vad fan gör det att fattiga och sjuka människor plågas när medelklassen kan tjäna ett par hundra extra i månaden på det.

Ett råd: investera pengarna i skottsäkert glas till dina fönster och en rejäl ståldörr. Det kommer behövas.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I want to go to the farm I work at late one night, go to the middle of a field, pull out some of whatever grows there and plant something else, just to see the look on my coworkers faces when they pull out something that could not possible be growing there naturally.


Stuff I've considered planting so far:
a pineapple
a bag of pig snouts
a puppy
a swordfish
27 mannequin arms
I'm bored waiting for Oscar to get home from work so I drew a picture of my dog after a bath.



Also. This reminds me of where I used to be. And where I want to go again.

I hope some day I can scrape up enough oompfh to do it again.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Really disappointed in everything around my thesis for the societal security-program. First of all I got a supervisor who is not in the same field as the one I'm writing about. I'm writing about risk psychology. My supervisor is in political science. I have recieved no valuable feedback what so ever, and two days before the deadline, he tells me to "expand my analysis". It's 27 pages long, I'd like to know exactly what the fuck needs expanding. He's been incredibly vague the whole time, asks the same question three times in three different emails, and now he pretty much fucks up my chances of turning in my entire paper on time. I pretty much told him to suck it and turned it in anyway, but I don't know if I can even do that.

Also, none of my group members are going to be there, which really sucks cause I had looked forward to seeing them again. Z and I had been talking about riding his motorbike up to Karlstad and we were all gonna celebrate together afterwards. Now I'll just never see them again and I didn't even get to say a proper goodbye.

Plus this means I can't hitch a ride with Z or sleep at M:s place, which means I have to pay shittons of money I don't have on trains and hostel. I don't even know if I CAN go. And if I don't, that's a year's worth of stress and effort and money down the drain.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Because sunday is mother's day.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

When it's windy, like it was today, you get pretty tired working in a huge ass field of dirt. And covered in soil, obviously. You go home and shower, the bathroom floor is black. You clean your ears, they're black inside. You blow your nose, what comes out of your nostrils is the earth itself. Or atleast a pretty good portion of it.

Also, I bought new shampoo. In the bottle, it smelled like earl gray tea. In my hair, it smelled like the carcass of a rhino wearing a crown of seaweed. Not bad.

Monday, May 9, 2011

HAHA

So I'm researching stuff for my paper, and run into this sentence:

"Kaiser and Fuhrer (2003), similarly suggested that declarative knowledge alone regarding the environment has limited impact on environmental behaviour."

And all I can think is KAISER AND FUHRER HAAAAAAA!@#! What are the odds that those guys not only meet but write a fucking book together? Have they thought about how hilarious their names are, especially put together? Is that perhaps the very reason they decided to write a book together at all? I'm going to be thinking about this all day.

Friday, May 6, 2011

hypocracy - it's faaaantastic

So, they got bin Ladin. At last eh. I hate to tell you this, but life is not a fucking videogame. "Terrorism" will not vaporize because you think you've killed the final boss. Especially not when you do it through, you know, acts of terrorism.
State terrorism is worse than any other form of terrorism by the way, in case you didn't get that, and that's becoming quite the habit in the home of the brave.
Let me ask you something. What kind of message do you think you're sending when you pour troops into a country in the name of democracy and justice, only to flout the same principles whenever it's convenient?

Funny how that works.

It's also funny that if a middle easterner celebrates someone's death, they're uncivilized, crazy and scary barbarians. If an American does it, it's justified and positive.

Israel kidnapped Adolf Eichmann, a man who played a key role in Die Endlösung der Judenfrage during WW II. He was responsible for the death of 440 000 people.
Israel has done a lot of nasty shit, but they did give that guy a trial.

Saddam Hussein got a trial. The people who worked for Pol Pot, responsible for the death of approximately 1,7 million people, got trials. This was in Cambodia.

The leaders of former Yugoslavia and Rwanda were taken to ICC. Got trials.

Bin Ladin was murdered during a commando raid in a sovereign state's territory, without the state's (official) consent or knowledge. And then his death is celebrated by millions and he is mocked in news media around the world.

I sort of get it, considering the guy clearly was way smarter than any of the Americans who were after him. That must be pretty aggravating when you're used to getting everything you want the way you want. Despite their money, technology and advanced weapons and training bin Ladin got away again and again and again. His assets were frozen, he was hunted by half the planet for over a decade, and yet he outsmarted the most powerful nations in the world over and over. Even when they decided to break every law they could think of to get him. I can see how that would piss them off. And if Obama hadn't started acting like an asshole cowboy it would've been political suicide I guess, so I kind of understand that too, even if I find it disappointing and downright pathetic to sink to the level where you claim to have brought justice when you're really no better than the guy you just offed.

But I guess exaggerated celebration is what it takes to forget that he was smarter than you, and that you have killed many, many more innocents than he ever could have, in the process of hunting him down. You're not really convincing anyone else of your bravery and superiority though.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Weekend of awesomeness. Went to work saturday morning. The farmer-creature I worked for last year called and asked if I wanted to make some cash money, and I can't say no to cash money regardless of how much schoolin' I got, so I said yes, and it was fun. Hard and dirty, but fun. I only worked for a couple of hours but I've got more coming this summer. After that I took my dog to her favourite creek and let her swim for a while, then went to Oscar's. We walked down to the beach from his house and spent the afternoon and evening having a Barbecue Of Awesome.

Today it was raining so we stayed in and watched anime. Highschool of the Dead is hilarious. Anything where bullets fly in slow motion between bouncing boobies is hilarious, and there is plenty of that in HOTD. We also went to Helsingborg to see Thor (the movie, not my acquaintance from Stockholm), which was, eh, pretty bad. Better than Avatar, since everything is better than Avatar, but still pretty crappy. The only real upside to it was Loke, cause he the only interesting character (and also the actor was fucking hot). The popcorn also sucked.

Friday, April 29, 2011

arbeit (m)acht frei

I. Am. Seething.


Så tio procent av Sveriges svårt sjuka ska tvingas gå på socialbidrag istället för att få ut en försäkring de betalat för, och det är positivt? Det är bättre än ni förväntat? Det bygger alltså på att MER än 10% av de utförsäkrade skulle tvingas söka socialbidrag. Nice.

Och alla som har en sambo som tjänar pengar? Alla som har besparingar? En bil, ett hus? Dessa människor får avslag och därmed ingen ersättning alls. Var är de i er äckliga jävla hittepåstatistik? Alla som lever på lån för att ert sjuka jävla förakt för de mindre priviligerade gjort dem så stigmatiserade att de inte vill utsätta sig för fortsatt förnedring genom att söka soc? De som är för sjuka och knäckt för att orka? Det finns ingen statistik över de här människorna. Ingen vet hur många av de 90 % av de utförsäkrade som inte får soc, som lever helt utan inkomst.

Går man på soc har man inte heller rätt till rehab. Man är alltså körd, för livet. Ska straffas för att man blivit kroniskt sjuk.

De svaga kanske inte orkar kämpa emot, men de har många anhöriga som gör det. Och vårt tålamod börjar ta slut. Det är lätt att sparka på de som ligger, men det finns ganska många som är sugna på att sparka tillbaka för deras räkning.

Also: mer idioti.

Thursday, April 28, 2011



My hand hurts like a corkscrew in the pooper. Been writing like teh mad for days and days. One paper is practically done, started on the second yesterday. It's about how people percieve the risks of climate change. All I can say about that is, I hate you humanity, so much.

So all I really wanted was to upload this picture. Go ahead, admire it. You may.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

You know what's really scary? Most newspapers, in this country at least, have fired their science journalist and no longer keep a science section.

But almost all of them publish horoscopes.

Are people really this retarded? Really? Aliens, seriously if you're out there, come get me. Please. I am so done with this planet.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Maybe, just maybe, our asskissing media is starting to wake up too.

EDIT:

More info



..and yes, you're gonna have to put up with the politics if you want to keep reading this shit. For those of you who don't speak Swedish, it's about thousands of people, including myself, protesting against the diet version of nazis running my country. They have among many other idiotic things decided that people who are, say, dying from cancer, aren't really sick, they just made it up to not have to go to work.
Not the smartest peanuts in the turd. Google translate is your friend.



This is awesome and comes from here

Monday, April 25, 2011

Vad är skillnaden mellan Hitler och Reinfeldt?

Hitlers bok sålde.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

fråga: Vad är skillnaden mellan Adolf Hitler och Fredrik Reinfeldt?

svar: Hitler hade hår.

Monday, April 18, 2011

NNNNNGH

Roses are red
Portals are blue
I promise I'll never incinerate you

Saturday, April 16, 2011

So two days ago I said I wouldn't write until my hand was healed. Well fuck that. Typing is slow and it semi-hurts but it has to be done. I have two 40-plus page papers to write. Spent the past few days doing nothing but working on one of them. Now this is the fun part: I was editing the 20 pages I've written so far on my master thesis. Cut a large chunk of text to paste it elsewhere. Open Office crashes. The five pages I cut are lost. I raged and laughed at the same time, cause it was frustrating and it's fucking absurd that I have such shitty luck all the time.

Also, on a slightly sadder note. My awesome superdog who could sprint for an hour and still have enough go to jump around in rivers afterwards turned into an old lady overnight. Yesterday we went for a slow, short walk and she had to sit down and rest on the way back to manage. She was no better today. Maybe it's the pain from her limp that never seems to get better, maybe her age just caught up with her, I don't know. But it sucks to see her like this.


Also #2, it just occured to me that my texts initially used to be somewhat funny and atleast semi-benevolent. Nowadays I'm just bitter and raging. I'm gonna get back on track once I've suffered through school and figured out what the fuck to do with myself. Once my life stops being 97% shit, I'll get all Gandhi on yo' ass again. I'm too dumb and stubborn not to, you see.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

back home again.

things that are hard to do with one hand:

button pants
put on bra
fill up the dog's water bowl
put toothpaste on toothbrush
grate cheese

things that suck doing with the wrong hand:

brush teeth
wipe ass
use fork


things that aren't hard but really annoying to do with one hand:
type. hence, i'm not gonna do that 'til my stupid hand is healed.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

S'pore

Back in Singapore, which is awesome even though I'm in the weirdest hostel room I've ever had. Bali sucked incredible amounts of ass. The hostel was great, situated smack in the middle of a bunch of rice fields, outside the city. The problem being the fucking rice farmers. For some reason they decided to pick on me every time we passed them, which was atleast four times a day. Having dealt extensively with bullies before, I've learned the hard way to show now fear, so when they started messing with me, I locked eyes with the leader and started grinning at him. Not quite in a 'come at me bro' way, but not that far from it either. This really pissed him off. Every time he saw me after that his bullshit kept escalating. When we went for dinner yesterday, he was standing on the middle of the road with a shovel over his shoulder, pointing at me. I ignored him completely and walked right past him, not even glancing at him, just kept talking calmly with D. That worked pretty well. But if I'd had to stay much longer I would've gotten into trouble for sure.

Also fucking ridiculous: I wrote earlier about the lameness we had to go through to be able to pay for the visa to Indonesia. Today I found out you have to pay to LEAVE the country aswell. And again, no ATM near the place where you have to pay, and once you've gone through the FOUR security checks to enter the area, you can't go back outside. Of course noone tells you anything about having to pay before you reach that particular point either. I was lucky to have enough Singapore dollars left to exchange for Indonesian rupees to be able to pay. I'd already gotten rid of all my Indonesian money before that. I've never been to a place so openly assholeish, in every way I can think of, as Bali.


On another note, in Swedish:

Åt världens godaste hamburgare nyss, av killen som har vandrarhemmet vi bor på. Skriver ner innehållet bara för att minnas det själv. Mina pennor har lagt av allihop så bloggen får tjäna som anteckningsblock.

bröd
hemgjord biff
sallad
tomat
gurka
lök
valfri sås
ost
bacon
potatisplätt
stekt ägg
kycklingbiff


Till det, pommes och öl. Sedan går man i ide i minst två månader.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

smile!

We've had dinner at the same restaurant four times in a row now. Why? One reason. Our waiter's smile. D and I are both completely infatuated with it. D's trying to impress him by finding Indonesian phrases on the Internet to say to him. I just go "AAAWWWW" under my breath every time I see him, cause he's so damn cute. I want to adopt him and keep him as a pet, and he would make me dinner and smile and I would give him his own bed and bowl, and he could play with my dog and we would all be happy forever.

Atleast that's what his smile says.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

bathrooms

Also, the bathroom situation here is hilarious. In my hostel room yesterday, there was a shower in the bedroom. No bathroom, no toilet, just a shower next to the bed. In the hostel room today, the lock on the bathroom door is locked from outside. I've tried and tried to figure out why, but alas. The bathroom here is really cool though, it's actually outdoors but not really. Maybe some day I'll post pics and show you what I mean. Or maybe not. I'm not sure you deserve clarification on that matter.
Borneo was amazing. Really, REALLY amazing. I've seen and done so many things I never thought I would experience. I've been caving in the biggest cave in the world. I've been surrounded by completely fearless fish biting at my fingers and toes while swimming under a tropical waterfall. I've stood in the jungle at night, in the dark, the only light coming from the glowing fungus growing on dead wood under my feet and the fireflies around me. I've seen wild monkeys. I've also finished my research, which was the reason I went there, which is pretty sweet.

I left Borneo with much regret, but I don't go to South East Asia that often so I wanna see as much as possible while I'm here.

Went to Kuala Lumpur for a short while. The only good thing about that city was the taxi driver that took me back to the airport. He held a one hour speech about Malaysian history and politics, which was really entertaining and very informative.

Had a really bizarre experience in a shopping mall too. We went in to get away from the heat and were dragged into a huge store. There were no customers and probably 30 employees all staring at us, standing motionless but smiling and greeting us when we passed through. It was pretty surreal.

Went to Bali shortly after and arrived a couple of hours ago. At the airport you're supposed to pay for a visa, but there's nowhere to get Indonesian rupees inside the area that you're not allowed to leave before you got your visa. And they only take cash. So if you don't have cash on arrival you have a security dude follow you to an ATM, while also taking your passport, until you got your money and can be on your way. This is completely retarded and unneccessary and would be solved so easily with an ATM in a smarter place.
Once outside the first security control D and I went to get our checked in bags. Some asshole took D's, and his passport, and took off. Another asshole took my bag and told me to follow. He had a uniform and a name tag and everything so I figured it was okay. Turns out what he did was carry my bag through another security check and then hold it hostage 'til I payed him. I had no plans on doing that and simply told him to give me my bag or suffer the consequences, but D, being the Swede he is, payed them.

Apparantly Indonesia has no official traffic rules. This shows. People here are fucking crazy. We had discussed renting bikes to get around but there will be none of that shit. Plus, I sprained my hand pretty badly so I couldn't bike even if I wanted to. They have horseback tours here that I really wanted to do but I guess there won't be any of that either. Oh well. I'm pretty sure there will be things to see and do for the four days before heading back to Singapore and then back home.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Sarawak, Borneo

I took a plane from Singapore to Miri just a couple of hours ago. Since my arrival I've pretty much just wandered around the town, which is a really nice little place with huge scary insects and friendly locals. It's been cloudy today which is a bliss, only 29 degrees when I got here. The humidity is not as bad as in Singapore, but on the other hand the smell is worse so I guess it evens out. Every time I travel i realize how fucking spoiled I am regarding clean water and fresh air, and how rare it is to actually live in a place where it's silent more often than noisy. I like the noise of a city, but I really crave the silence after a while. Tomorrow I'm heading to the Gunung Mulu National Park ten kilometers further inland. It's in the rain forest so I doubt it'll be quiet at night, but I have a feeling it's gonna be noisy in an awesome way.

Also: at the Singapore airport I was staring out the window while waiting to board the plane. One of the guys working with moving peoples' luggage onto the plane did something pretty hilarious. They unloaded a bunch of bags with something soft in them, like futons or something, and he just dropped on top of them and stretched out with a big grin on his face. I took a picture of him and he just waved at me, not bothered one bit. That was pretty cool.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Singapore

Arrived in Singapore yesterday. Today was crazy full of activities and I'm still jetlagged and half-sick, so it's been kinda rough. My friend D and I met up with his friends today, they took us to see Little India, a muslim market, a hindu temple and the business district; we went for a boat ride, to two museums, to a casino, a pub, an awesome thai restaurant and a just slightly less awesome sea food restaurant. Before that D and I also managed to check out the local food court, which was filthy but had okay food. I've already broken two of the rules of asia-traveling; namely not to drink tap water and not to eat food handled by old ladies who grab fistfulls of noodles with the same hands they grab money from strangers without washing their hands. And I only arrived here yesterday.
Tomorrow we're going to the zoo and a bunch of other places, the day after we're heading for Borneo. It's exhausting and exciting. I'm also really glad the heat isn't bothering me as much as I thought it would. My summer in Canada was actually worse than this, so far atleast.
The only thing on the sucky side is how achingly much I miss my boyfriend and my dog. It's ridiculous how much I wish Oscar was here.

Four things I've learned today:
Fried rice with raisins and pineapple sounds disgusting but is really fucking awesome

Asia has some really fantastic artists. If I could bring home everything I've seen on canvas today I would.

If little India smells like India, India smells like incense and fish.

Taxidrivers in Singapore think traffic would be better if the shitty drivers parents were present because "he would never dare to do what he just did if his father was watching, man".

Monday, March 21, 2011

holy shit.

My poor dog. She got into the car thinking she was on her way to her usual nice run on the beach. Instead she ended up drugged, raped and covered in her own poo in a trailer.

In other words, we went to the vet. According to him, her chewing at her feet is because of a problem in her ass. Her anal glands, to be specific. To be able to get anywhere even near her he had to sedate her, cause lordy knows my dog can look mean and threatening when she wants to. So he gave her a shot and shoved a finger up her ass, whereupon shit sprayed out faster than you can say assmuffin. Since she was sedated we had to carry her back to the car afterwards, shit dropping from her ass, onto Oscars shoes, Oscars jacket, inside my mom's car and later, in the livingroom. It was the exact opposite of glorious.
Once she was semi-awake, Oscar and I emptied the bathroom and got her and us into the shower, shit-covered dog first. Oscar held her and I cleaned her, and then we proceeded to clean ourselves with her being a miserable pile of wet, newly raped dog in a corner. After that we still had a shitload (heh) of house cleaning to do. Took Tilda a long time to recover. Long day for all of us.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

development.


Toxic emissions from what used to be the world's richest biotope.

In the 1960s, the Borneo rainforest was almost untouched. Today, 95 % of it is gone. The Borneo rainforest used to be the best preserved of the world's top three forests. Today, the deforestation is responsible for more toxic emissions than the pollution caused by all airlines in the world.
Some of the world's poorest people live there. They get poorer when their homes and livelihoods are taken from them.

That's development for you.

Uwäh.

My dog kept me up all night, she's got a limp and is not allowed to run and play and stuff and she hates it. She started licking at her un-limp feet in some kind of stress response, and now she's got two limps cause she completely ruined one of her paws. So I have a seriously unhappy dog with socks to prevent her from eating herself up, in the first day of real spring. Not a good combo.

Something pretty weird happened this morning too. My mom got a call from the municipality office, they're wondering when she's gonna send in the last of the papers required to start a Bed & Breakfast at her farm. Since my mom has no farm and no desire to start a B&B, she was pretty damn confused. Apparantly someone has made a bunch of applications, in my mom's name, using my mom's address etc, for stuff that costs a shitload to even apply for. Considering she can't even afford food at the end of the month, it does seem like someone is trying hard to troll her. It was pure luck they called to request the last of the papers, if everything had been done properly she would've never known what hit us once the bills started dropping in.

Lastly, I believe the second half of march is gonna be way fucking better than the first. Oscar and I are soon celebrating our first year together, and on the 24th, I'm off to Borneo to do fieldwork for my master thesis. Scholarships fucking rule.
Katamari!

Friday, March 4, 2011

http://www.myter.tk/

Relevant för alla tänkande människor.

Monday, February 28, 2011

bwuhu

Haahaa, I get to ride in the frooont seeat




Pwease?

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Regular Ordinary Swedish Meal Time



It's good for you.
Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective is an awesome game. If I didn't have tons and tons of school work to do I'd drop everything and play it.

Luckily, I already did that, so I don't have to do it again anytime soon.

Also, writing giant papers on national economy sucks throbbing horse balls.

Also 2, I'm whoring my blog out to ads from now on. If you're bored enough to read this, I hope you're bored enough to click.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

YAAAAY



My new friend arrives next week. No moar having to borrow my brother's computer. NO MOAR.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

ordinary day

My breakfast: two pieces of dark bread, one egg. Tea.
My brother's breakfast: one loaf of white bread, jam. Milk.

My lunch: noodles with vegetable wok. Water.
My brother's lunch: One bag of chips, one chocolate bar. Soda.

My dinner: rice and curry. Water.
My brother's dinner: one family size pizza. Soda.

My exercise: 30 km biking plus dog walk, 150 sit ups, 100 push ups
My brother's exercise: dog walk.

WHY THE FUCK AM I FATTER THAN THIS GUY@#!
My first attempt ever at celebrating V-day went well. I prefer calling it V-day cause I associate it with D-day, and that's way cooler than anything or anyone named Valentine. Not even Bruce Lee would be cool if his name had been Valentine. Anyway.

We started early by going out for sushi on sunday cause nothing says 'I love you' like seaweed. Sushi is probably my fav food ever. We proceeded with buying ridiculous amounts of candy and watching Paranormal Activity 2. Cause nothing says 'I love you' like sugar and surveillance cameras. Yesterday Oscar made food and I made cake. I spent most of the day lying in bed playing Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective, which is a totally awesome game for teh DS and a perfect way to celebrate, well anything really. I very much needed the relaxation after intense paper writing and putting up with my retard family during the week. Oscar is totally my oasis in a desert of insanity.


Speaking of deserts. My brother told me his dream was to go live in a desert, preferably somewhere in North America. He then told me that dream would never come true, because if he did he could no longer play World of Warcraft on european servers, and that to him was more important.

Yeah.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

wtf

I've been dreading getting feedback on my pilot study for my master thesis, thinking it was probably the shittiest thing I've ever written. I almost didn't dare to read the comment when I got it, but when I did I was fucking stunned.


Linda,
An excellent paper! Well-written, systematically structured, and methodologically and theoretically reflexive. You describe the background to and aim of your study briefly – that is fully enough for the purpose of this paper – and focus – as was the intention of this assignment – on discussing, presenting and reflecting upon your methodological choices and exercise. The discourse analysis is a rather difficult area, but you handle it well, discussing it both as a theoretical approach and a methodology. Your analysis will really serve as a relevant pilot for your PW, I believe, especially as you here come up with some problems and obstacles that you have had in this exercise – your perhaps too broad theoretical framework and not well enough defined analysis criteria. These problems, I see as part of this assignment, and you reflect well upon them, and should be able to sharpen the analytical framework better for the PW, based on this pilot study and with the help of a supervisor. You show proof of advanced analytical skills, and I wish you all the best of luck with the project work!
Grade: A


..I still feel like shit about being stuck in a hole full of illiterates, but this did make things a little bit better. If only employers gave a fuck too and I could actually make a living at some point of my pathetic existence, that'd be even better.
My granddad came over when I was at mom's today. He's one of the ancient deities of this retarded little village, one of those old farts everyone for some inexplicable reason sucks up to. Probably because he was the first settler here 12 000 years ago. Anyway.
He told me to "stop going to school and get a job" cause I'm "almost middle aged" and that "you can't fit that much knowledge in one head anyway". This coming from a guy who recieved a mindboggling five years of schooling and never opened a book since so he sure knows what he's talking about. Since I'm always and only surrounded by the exact opposite of geniuses and I'm chronically close to committing murder/suicide out of sheer frustration because of them, I was going to ask him if it was better that I got a piece of shit job and turned out like my mom, aged 55, alcoholic, in chronic pain and unable to afford even, for example, basic dental care. I was also going to tell him that a person who thinks that being an ignorant primate is admirable is not exactly the kind of person I have any interest in speaking to. I couldn't though, cause my mom cut in and started laughing her nervous "daddy's always right even when he tells me to fill my nostrils with glue"-laugh and got him out the door.

You know, sometimes I'm under this delusion that maybe, somewhere, there is a place where I could fit in and have friends and a job and a life and not have to put up with condescending, ignorant cunts and hate every second of my existence. Right now is not one of those times. Right now is one of those times I sit for hours staring at my collection of prescription sleeping pills trying to think of reasons not to take them all.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Förra året praktiserade min brorsa som vaktmästare i ett halvår. Han arbetade heltid och fick för det 3000 i månaden. Nu kräver Försäkringskassan honom på 12 000 för att han "fått för mycket".

Ni som röstade på Moderaterna, lämna gärna namn och adress i bloggen så kommer jag personligen och slår ihop era ansikten med era bakhuvuden. Ni verkar inte behöva det som finns däremellan.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Spent the weekend in Karlstad again. I had a lecture on national economy which sounds boring as shit but was really interesting. And afterwards, sitting at Magnus's place drinking beer and having heated discussions and listening to hilarious anecdotes from Jonas, Marie and Zeljko, I felt comfortable with people I don't really know, for the first time in ages. They don't give a shit about me, I'm just any acquaintance to them, but for someone as incredibly socially deprived as me, that's something really special. Being around people so determined and confident also gave me a bit of a bravery boost that was much needed. I also had a teacher tell me a paper I'd written was "brilliant" which was obviously quite nice to hear.

Makes me wonder where I would've been today if I'd had a normal life and a normal start to a working life to begin with instead of being stalled for almost ten years.

huh,

I went to the bank today. Bored while standing in line I casually turned my attention to the old man in front of me. Just any old guy. Gray coat, an old-man-hat, a plastic bag from a nearby grocery store hanging from one hand and his wallet in the other. Nothing special. I proceed to look at my shoes instead. His turn. He puts the plastic bag on the counter and starts whipping out piles of money, ridiculous amounts like I've only seen in movies before. "I want to deposit some money" he says. "I've got 750 000 in 500 kr bills. Is that okay?".

That was pretty weird. And it took a while before I got to empty my account of the last 42 kr I had.

Monday, January 24, 2011

You know how you sometimes read those gay little stories about dogs saving their owners' lives by dragging them through a ditch when they're on fire and stuff? My dog kinda did that today. She didn't exactly drag me through a ditch, but she did wake me up unreasonably early. I thought she just needed to go outside so I got up to let her out, and she started whimpering and rushed into the kitchen. For some reason I went after her and that turned out to be a good thing.The coffee maker had been left on when and it had been doing it's thing all night. The kitchen was full of stink and smoke and the coffee pot was black with stuff that was no longer coffee but something vile and evil that wanted to melt plastic.

I don't know if my dog saved any lives today but now I know I can count on her doing it if she has to. And that's pretty cool. I should just start calling her Lassie and fall into wells to encurage her further.

Monday, January 17, 2011

happy happy joy joy




Oscar, Tilda and I have been staying at Oscar's cousin's apartment while he's in Australia. It's been totally awesome to have a place of our own for a while. I've enjoyed every minute. Especially the ones spent in the bathtub. Oh bathtub, how I love you.

A few days ago we also decided to meet the couple who took care of my dog before I got her. I don't think I'll ever forget how happy Tilda was to see her old dog-buddies again. We met them down on the beach and all the dogs instantly ran around and played like mad. It was like they'd never been apart. I couldn't stop grinning the whole time. They showed me pictures of Tilda I'd never seen before and told me about what she was like when they first got her. I think they were pretty moved to see the progress she's made and I'm really glad we decided to meet. Definately gonna see them again.

This past week has been such bliss, seriously. Just me and the ones I love the most. No stupid angry dramatic assholes depleting my energy and draining my will, making me feel like shit because they can't handle themselves. It's been almost like.. normal. And holy shit I needed this.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Did you know that you can store organs, waiting for transplants, in honey?