Friday, August 27, 2010

babydragon.

As much pain as my former best friend caused me, I'm so outrageously glad I went through it. Because if it wasn't for him I never would've met my little Lan, who warms my heart to such extents I just want to get on the next plane over there to hug him. I couldn't have loved him more if he was my brother. Which he is, in every way that matters. And when I think about the person he is, despite his family's best efforts, I'm so proud of him it makes me grin.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

oh shi-

This semester I'm going to be studying 250%. AKA two and a half full-time programs. Plus get a driver's license. Plus hopefully get a job. This'll be interesting.

Tuesday was awesome. It was insanely windy when I went down to the ocean. The waves were like three meters tall, the biggest I've ever seen. I could've sat there all day just staring at them, eating blackberries from the bushes a couple of meters off the sand.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

untz untz

http://www.dontevenreply.com/

<-- I don't have the vocabulary to explain just how awesome this is.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I'm melancholic. I'm still trapped in the stupid drama that is my family life. Still sort of shocked about finding out about what a person I trusted was capable of. I can keep it at bay these days, a lot of it is thanks to Oscar. Somehow he's managed to sneak past my defenses without me even noticing, to become an important and natural part of my life that I suspect I would find it difficult to do without.

I've always been deprived of the opportunity to make the most of myself. Always been full of poison, pain and possibilities that never led to anything. A dissonance that causes both cynical wit and a clinical depression. I came into this world with nothing. I'm going to leave it with nothing. I strive to need as little as possible inbetween. But I think one of the things I might need is him. He gives me the courage to try to be better. To make plans and hope for the future. To start again with something positive to build on. With him, I think I might actually be able to pull it off.

Monday, August 9, 2010

hoo

New day, new vet, new meds for the dog. Hopefully this'll help.

Had the best weekend with Oscar though. We went to a city festival thing with his cousin and some of their friends on friday, stayed in and watched anime and made pancakes on saturday, and went to see Predators yesterday.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Flaw.

One of the few humans I actually liked, someone I've laughed and argued with, looked up to, confided in and even admired, someone who helped me through a lot of shit, is in jail for raping an underaged girl. I can't even write about that, it's too confusing and unreal and just too much to handle right now. Writing has always been my one outlet, but this, I can't even begin to put it into words.