Sunday, December 26, 2010

Så bra att jag var tvungen att sno den.

Moderaterna genom tiderna.


1904–1918: Nej till allmän rösträtt.
1916: Nej till allmän olycksförsäkring i arbetet.
1919: Nej till åtta timmars arbetsdag.
1919: Nej till kvinnlig rösträtt.
1921: Nej till avskaffandet av dödsstraff i Sverige.
1923: Nej till åtta timmars arbetsdag.
1923: Nej till avskaffandet av dödsstraff i Sverige.
1927: Nej till folkskolereform.
1931: Nej till sjukkassan.
1933: Nej till beredskapsarbete.
1934: Nej till a–kassa.
1935: Nej till höjda folkpensioner.
1938: Nej till två veckors semester.
1941: Nej till sänkt rösträttsålder.
1946: Nej till fria skolmåltider.
1946: Nej till allmän sjukvårdsförsäkring.
1947: Nej till allmänna barnbidrag.
1951: Nej till tre veckors semester.
1953: Nej till fri sjukvård.
1959: Nej till ATP.
1960–talet: Ja till apartheid. Moderaterna tog avstånd från alla sanktioner mot apartheidregimen i Sydafrika och var emot det svenska stödet till ANC.
1963: Nej till fyra veckors semester.
1970: Nej till 40–timmars arbetsvecka.
1973: Nej till möjligheten till förtidspensionering vid 63.
1974: Nej till fri abort. Den 29 maj 1974 röstade riksdagen ja till fri abort, vilket resulterade i den svenska abortlagen som låter kvinnan själv besluta om abort upp till den 18 graviditetsveckan. Moderaterna röstade nej.
1976: Nej till femte semesterveckan.
1983: Nej till löntagarfonderna.
1994: Nej till partnerskapslag för homosexuella.
1998: Nej till erkännande av homosexuellas rättigheter inom EU. EU–parlamentet röstade för ett erkännande av homosexuellas rättigheter, men de moderata ledamöterna röstade nej.
2003: Ja till Irakkriget. Alla riksdagspartier demonstrerade mot och kritiserade Irakkriget utom moderaterna.
2004: Ja till sänkt a–kassa och sjukpenning.
2006: Nej till gröna jobb.
2006: Nej till sex timmars arbetsdag.
2006: Nej till upprustning av offentliga sektorn.
2006: Nej till höjd a- kassa.
2006: Ja till sänkt a-kassa.
2006: Nej till höjd sjukersättning.
2007: Ja till sänkt sjukersättning.


Snatched from http://finalitet.blogspot.com

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

So I spent the weekend in Karlstad, hanging out with a social worker, a fire fighter and a serbian prison guard.

I quite enjoyed it.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Monday, November 22, 2010

I have the funniest feeling in my gut. Like when I was a kid and woke up on a saturday morning knowing I had all weekend to play videogames and everything was awesome. I don't know where that came from, especially since time off to play vids is the last thing I've got these days.

I spend literally 90% my waking hours on school work. What little time I have off is spent on Oscar and Tilda. No time for TKD anymore. Not that I could go even if I had time, since I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere again. I wanna start horseback riding again too, but I can forget about that aswell. And next semester is moar thesis time so that's gonna be even worse.

It's funny though, all work and no play makes me.. kind of content actually.

Friday, November 19, 2010

So yeah I just filed a police report against two close relatives.

Not too sure how to feel about that.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Holy shit this is cool

It's 3:20 am, I'm working on my thesis and am sitting here all focused when I hear some weird noises. Scraping sounds on my window. I get up, thinking it's probably the cat wanting to come in. I look out the window and straight into the eyes of a deer, standing maybe three inches away from me, on the other side of the glass. It's not the slightest bit scared either, just standing there looking at me, appearantly quite curious. We spent a few minutes just watching eachother before I got boring and it went off to eat some more apples from the tree a few meters away.

I really hate this village, but I really love the proximity to nature.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

that was a good day.

Okay, I don't normally engage in this kind of behavior, but I have to say:

i LOVE LOVE LOVE MY NEW HAIRCUT

Monday, November 1, 2010

HAHA

Post in Swedish cause this makes no sense otherwise:

Min morsa jobbar som bekant på dagis. Idag hade ungarna hällt vatten i rutschkanan innan de åkte i den, något de ville berätta för min morsa när det var dags för mat. Amanda som har nån sorts semi-gulligt talfel beskrev det såhär: "Vi hade vatten i ruschibanan, å-å-å sen när vi åkte blev vi ALLELES BJÖTA OM BALLARNA!" Min morsa fick skrämselhicka tills en annan dagisfröken kom på att ungen antagligen menat "brallorna".

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Alan Wake

I'm absolutely compassionately unmistakably obsessed with Alan Wake. After finishing the game I spent three days on various internet forums going through all possible theories and clues I could find. I read the Alan Wake files, watched the Bright Falls-prequel, played the DLC:s, thought about it all night while Oscar slept next to me. The day after I reenacted the game using Oscar's torso as the Bright Falls area and my finger as Alan Wake. Oscar was not amused. But whatever. As long as I can figure out what the hell is going on in that town, that's a sacrifice he'll just have to make.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Haha. My dad kicked me out of his apartment after he got a raging outburst of assholeishness, because I missed a spot when I wiped off the bathroom floor after a shower.
Today my brother tells me my dad, in another one of his usual fits, tore the smoke detector off the wall and drenched it in the sink because he couldn't figure out how to change the batteries in the stupid thing.

My family is really hilarious in all the wrong ways.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

but that's how it goes

The past week has been eventful. Yesterday my brother and I went for an 8 kilometer hike in a nature reserve an hour from here, which was awesome. A whole lot of climbing which was really tough, but it felt great none the less. And the view was amazing.

I also unintentionally got a new TV. No complaints though, the image quality makes me shed tears with joy.

Monday, October 4, 2010

And another one. This is so fucking awesome I creamed my pants. Now I know what to get myself for christmas.
Also, this.

Glorious.

snake? SNAAAAAKE!

I met a snake in the woods today. The following conversation took place:
"Sniper Wolf? Is that you? Holy shit you've gained weight"
"No, I'm not Sniper Wolf."
"But that IS a wolf with you."
"Nah, that's my dog, she just looks a lot like a--"
"Dude you're standing on my cardboard box. Don't stand on my cardboard box, I need that to hide from enemy soldiers. You're not an enemy soldier are you?"
"No, I'm just walking my--"
"Good, cause if you are I'mma strangle you. Are you sure you're not an enemy soldier? You kinda look like one."
"I'm pretty sure I'm not."
"Well then piss off, you're drawing attention to me when you're standing here talking like that."
"Okay, sorry to bother you."
"Fuck off."

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Saturday, September 11, 2010

reprise.

OLD convos of genius that I had forgotten and will repost for your viewing pleasure:


---


Min farsa satt och kliade sig i byxorna när brorsan kom in i vardagsrummet. ”vafan farsan sitter du och runkar”, sa han i ett infantilt försök till ett skämt. ”Nae, jag bara gnuggar geniknölarna” sa farsan.

---

statskupp@********.net säger:
Om en kille har en trådlös blåvalsfitta. Är han undantagen värnplikten då?

---

Shadow säger:
du får göra dem liggande på en airbag
så går det lättare
Captain FAIL säger:
Ligga. <3
Shadow säger:
vad är det? jag har inte sett en kuk på evigheter
Captain FAIL säger:
Oj. Jag skickar en bild med en gång.
Shadow säger:
har glömt vad man har dem till. förutom att bygga legobroar över.
Captain FAIL säger:
Hahaha.
Efter en månad utan sex sitter jag och vaggar i katatonisk ställning.
Shadow säger:
borde göra en bildserie. saker man kan ha kukar till
förvara presentsnören i
Captain FAIL säger:
...
Shadow säger:
....
vad?




----


Robban säger:
Vadå skriver man bara testamente?
Shadow säger:
jao. jag skrev bara att jag ville bli kremerad, ha en mindre minnesstund för de närmaste bara, och vem som ska ha vad
Robban säger:
okay.. jag vill bli slängd i en brunn
Shadow säger:
jag vill att min aska ska torpederas ut ur en ubåt
men det får jag nog inte
:(
Robban säger:
hahaha
jag vill brännas på bål
Shadow säger:
haha. jag vill att mitt lik ska kastas ut i en bungylina från det högsta huset i malmö, när liket ruttnat tillräckligt för att benen ska lossna
eller läggas i en barnpool på ett badhus
Robban säger:
hahahha
fan va roligt
Shadow säger:
eller bara stoppas upp och sättas på ett bibliotek
Robban säger:
ja det e ju det bästa
hahahah ja gilla barnpoolen
jag vill sprängas
i så mkt småbitar
så inget finns kvar
Shadow säger:
haha. ”där är en bit! stampa sönder den!”

Friday, September 10, 2010

daym.

”My problem is that I love everybody too much”

- Kurt Cobain

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

security.

The first serious consideration of finger-printing began in 1856 in Bengal, when William Herschel started examining the possibility of palm-prints for identification purposes. The first police usage of fingerprinting was done in Argentina in 1891 by a Croatian social scientist who had emigrated there. The first systematic development of a kind of codex of the classification and transmission of classificatory understandings of fingerprinting technologies happened again in Bengal, in 1893, when two police officers of the Calcutta police developed a mathematical analysis for differentiating fingerprints, and then a telegraphic code to transmit this information. In the middle of the 1880s, a Scottish missionary called Henry Falls developed fingerprint analysis in Japanese leper colonies.


Retinal scans, iris scans, were invented by a German anatomist called Gustav Frisch, who in 1904 went around the world collecting eyes. He collected irises from recent corpses. He visited the Andaman Islands, a great zone for the harvesting of bodily information in the nineteenth century, and in 1904, collected 56 irises across 16 racial categories, from the penal settlement.

In India today they are installing monkey-resistant electronic cameras for surveillance.

Monday, September 6, 2010

phweuwt.

The apartment is turning out fucking awesomely after all. With a little creativity and a lot of Oscar combined with cheap shit from Ikea, it's gonna be a pretty sweet place for my old Vater.
Tidying the place up and furnishing it is taking forever but it's worth it. The bathroom still reeks of disgustingness so we're gonna have to pop the complaints-cherry to the landlord before he's even moving in. That's okay though, if there's one thing we're good at, it's complaining.

On a completely different note:

Shadow säger:
visst ja, hade en ännu sjukare dröm i natt
var på ett enormt, sankt fält med högt gräs
med en massa bilvrak och sånt strösslade lite överallt
och så gick det runt en massa cowboys som skulle döda mig
jag ålade i gräset och skulle komma över till en skog på andra sidan
så tittade jag åt ett håll och kröp åt ett annat, kände nåt konstigt på fingret
då hade jag krupit in och fastnat med fingret i en krokodils röv
fick en idé när krokodilen började hoppa runt för att bli av med mitt finger
så jag hoppade upp på den och red, den sprang fort som satan över fältet
och så styrde jag den med fingret i röven
fick den att springa upp på ett bilvrak som den använde som språngbräda, den hoppade och studsade fan en kilometer över fältet
cowboyerna blev helt till sig, försökte skjuta men krokodilen var för snabb
Batman säger:
haha
sjukt
Shadow säger:
det var skitcoolt, så jävla spännande

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

grief.

06.10. Can't sleep. Getting light outside. Fuck I hate my insomia.

My dad's moving tomorrow. When we went to the new apartment today he cried. Not only over the whole situation but also because of the extremely shitty state the place was in. It was bad. My aunt and grandma came over and helped cheer him up a little. He doesn't want to stay there but he can't afford to move anywhere else. And all I can do is sit there and watch. As usual.

Friday, August 27, 2010

babydragon.

As much pain as my former best friend caused me, I'm so outrageously glad I went through it. Because if it wasn't for him I never would've met my little Lan, who warms my heart to such extents I just want to get on the next plane over there to hug him. I couldn't have loved him more if he was my brother. Which he is, in every way that matters. And when I think about the person he is, despite his family's best efforts, I'm so proud of him it makes me grin.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

oh shi-

This semester I'm going to be studying 250%. AKA two and a half full-time programs. Plus get a driver's license. Plus hopefully get a job. This'll be interesting.

Tuesday was awesome. It was insanely windy when I went down to the ocean. The waves were like three meters tall, the biggest I've ever seen. I could've sat there all day just staring at them, eating blackberries from the bushes a couple of meters off the sand.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

untz untz

http://www.dontevenreply.com/

<-- I don't have the vocabulary to explain just how awesome this is.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I'm melancholic. I'm still trapped in the stupid drama that is my family life. Still sort of shocked about finding out about what a person I trusted was capable of. I can keep it at bay these days, a lot of it is thanks to Oscar. Somehow he's managed to sneak past my defenses without me even noticing, to become an important and natural part of my life that I suspect I would find it difficult to do without.

I've always been deprived of the opportunity to make the most of myself. Always been full of poison, pain and possibilities that never led to anything. A dissonance that causes both cynical wit and a clinical depression. I came into this world with nothing. I'm going to leave it with nothing. I strive to need as little as possible inbetween. But I think one of the things I might need is him. He gives me the courage to try to be better. To make plans and hope for the future. To start again with something positive to build on. With him, I think I might actually be able to pull it off.

Monday, August 9, 2010

hoo

New day, new vet, new meds for the dog. Hopefully this'll help.

Had the best weekend with Oscar though. We went to a city festival thing with his cousin and some of their friends on friday, stayed in and watched anime and made pancakes on saturday, and went to see Predators yesterday.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Flaw.

One of the few humans I actually liked, someone I've laughed and argued with, looked up to, confided in and even admired, someone who helped me through a lot of shit, is in jail for raping an underaged girl. I can't even write about that, it's too confusing and unreal and just too much to handle right now. Writing has always been my one outlet, but this, I can't even begin to put it into words.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Norwai.

Norway was cool and horrible at the same time. The island was beautiful, with clear water, majestic mountains and seagulls that actually did not shit all over the place. The horrible part consisted of Sophia's dad, who is a neurotic patriarch with serious anger issues. Most of my time was spent fishing, exploring the nearby islands, playing with the dogs, and being bored and annoyed when seasickness and storm prevented me from getting in the boat. Pictures will be uploaded when I get back home.

This week is spent with Sophia, Yoshi and Yorda back in civilization. Or whatever you wanna call it. We're playing Guitar Hero til our fingers ache, eating massive amounts of popcorn (which we compensate for by not eating anything else) and visiting the local music festival.

Going back home tomorrow. To what I don't know. Seems like the one good thing I had there is slipping away.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

all around swell guy!

I'm in Piteå, in northern Sweden, waiting for a minibus and a ferry and a boat to take me to an island on the Norwegian coast. No people, plenty of mountains and wildlife and water. Just the way I like it.

That's on Monday. Until then I'll be playing Deathspank with Sophia. Really sweet game.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I hate it when this happens.




sexylosers.com. You won't be sorry.

...you might be appalled, but hey, you're reading this so I figure you can handle it.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Nngh.

Had a wonderful weekend with my wonderful Oscar. Being with him is so ridiculously good it's almost criminal. Which is why I'm semi-angsting over going to Norway, which I'll be doing on Friday. I do want to get away from Sweden, I've spent like three months back home now and my travel intestines are itching. But leaving my pälskling even for two weeks or so is.. errgh. It's a silly problem, not even a problem really, but I've grown seriously attached to that little bugger and it's gonna be tough not getting to go to sleep buried in his beard at night.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

"It's just a virus, you'll be rid of it in 3-4 days". Yeah well it's been THREE WEEKS NOW and it's getting old. So old.

Had an awesome weekend though, I've never met so many cool people in one day in my life before. Oscar and I went to Gothenburg to see a bunch of his friends, and one of mine. We started with my online friend Daniel, whom I've known for like 170 years but never met before. We ate ice cream, went to GameStop, built a scary robot out of trash from McDonald's, and all agreed on the fact that wet tissues are essential for survival.

After Daniel's escape Oscar and I took the long, hard lonely walk to see his friends, whom we were to meet in a highly suspicious area of the city. We were to climb three mountains, cross a river, a desert and a jungle to get there. Okay so maybe we only had to get up one mountain, but it was fucking hot and bothersome, and we had backpacks. So it's almost the same thing. Anyway.
We rang the doorbell and Majk greeted us, sweaty, half naked, and chasing his fully naked son around the apartment. I instantly liked him.

After a short while five people and an ukulele joined us, beer drinking ensued, and life was all good. I rarely meet nice, hilarious and interesting people, so I was pretty much overwhelmed by the fact that they didn't puke on me or throw me off the balcony or anything for simply being there. Instead, they actually spoke to me once in a while. And even stranger, they remembered my name. Baffling, to say the least. Best part was seeing Oscar surrounded by so many people who love him. It made me so happy to see him happy.

Sunday morning we woke up early thanks to almost-two-year-old Tristan. We had ice cream for breakfast, turkish food for lunch, and a hot sticky walk in between. Oscar and I had to leave much too early to get him home for work. On the train we ended up next to a total asshole and a guy with dreads. I wanted to twist their heads off. Instead I fell asleep and appearantly kicked Oscar in the process.

Summary: awesome people, good beer, good hugs, good laughs, lots of Oscar-love. Perfect.

Sunday, June 13, 2010




Cred Oscar for this masterpiece.

Friday, June 11, 2010




This made me laugh so hard my stomach hurts.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

poetry

School, work, taekwondo, boyfriend, dog, learning to drive, helping my dad with his moving-out-of-the-house-stuff.. four months ago I slept 16 hours a day just to pass time. These days I feel like I should start looking for the nearest shady person to sell me some speed so I can keep up. I've also been invited to two parties next weekend, which is two more than I've been invited to in my life before. Shew.

Things are hectic to say the least. But not too hectic to not have time to write a poem for my dog:

Tilda min lilla groda
sötare än dvärgar i en skoda
när du äter as blir dina tänder bloda
(de)

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

eywhuddup

Last night I slept alone for the first time in six months. Neither boyfriend nor dog next to me. It felt really weird. Funny how that works, how fast you get used to things you've longed for for years. I don't think I'll ever really take company for granted though. I've been too messed up for too long to not think it's strange that people actually want to see me.

First day at work today. Same summer job as last year. Back then I was working with a thai guy named Hai. I sang him songs with words sounding like his name in the chorus. This year I'm working with a thai guy named Ngoc. I thought hard about it all day but couldn't come up with of even one song with his name in it. Please help me.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

In memory

"kanske är dessa texter, detta sabla
utlevande
det enda du kommer att ha att berätta vidare
men ingenting är mer värdefullt
än att åtminstone få ångra
det man gjorde
och inte det
man aldrig vågade göra."

Jag kände dig aldrig. Men, helvete, vad jag önskar att jag fått göra det.

the cake is a lie.

I'm trying to study while sitting in a bed with two people playing Mario Kart. Ain't doin' so well. But it's Oscar's birthday so I guess I'll let him have things his way today. I even made the fucker a cake. That's right. A cake. I made it. It felt weird being nice like that. Guess there's a first time for everything.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

In celebration of old skin

Vad är det första minnet du kommer ihåg?
När jag våldskörde runt på lekplatsen på Heimdalgatan med Daniels trampbil. Han var min bästa vän när jag var två, men jag önskade livet ur honom likafullt när jag inte fick köra länge. Jag älskade den där jävla trampbilen. Och nu är Daniel operasångare i Danmark. Utan trampbil. Vilket öde.

Om det skulle börja brinna, vilket föremål skulle du rädda?
Min fem meter höga vävstol från 1492.

Håller du upp dörrar för andra människor?
Jag håller inte ens upp dörrarna för mig själv, SÅ OARTIG ÄR JAG!

Vilken påhittad figur är din största hjälte?
Wolverine. För han är kort och vresig, precis som jag. Och så har han klor och morrar och har en skallig kompis. Precis som jag.

Det är lätt att se för stort på saker och ting i vardagen, nämn den minsta möjliga saken som kan göra dig glad.
Att, istället för att plugga, smygtitta över laptopkanten på Oscar när han sitter och spelar.

Om du fick åka till en plats i världen och kunde bortse från tid och rum, vilken plats skulle du välja?
Akira Yamaokas hus. OCH SKRÄMMA HONOM SANSLÖS! >:D

Om du fick välja en upplevelse (som bungeyjump, fallskärmshoppning etc..) vad skulle du välja?
Fallskärmshoppning skulle nog vara ganska kul. Såvida inte en schizofren mongol dödat ens instruktör och tar hans plats, och DRAR KNIV PÅ FEMTUSEN METERS HÖJD!!!1 :O

Var skulle du helst vilja vara precis just nu?
I Osaka.

Du ska ha födelsedagsfest, beskriv den ultimata festen i dina drömmar.
Malice Mizer skulle återförenas bara för en kväll, och spela för mig och alla mina fantasikompisar. Sen skulle jag tvinga dem att spela Wii med mig.

Filmkväll skall ordnas, vilka filmer väljer du ut och varför?
R-Point, för att den är koreansk och skithäftig och nästan ingen i hela världen har redan sett den.
Kontroll, för att den ungersk och mystisk och handlar om tunnelbanevakter.
Double Dragon, när folk bara vill ha rörliga bilder att somna till.

Om du skulle rekommendera en person som aldrig har läst något och bara tänker läsa en enda bok, vilken skulle du säga?
Det. Världens officiellt bästaste skräckroman.

Har du någonsin varit förälskad i en påhittad figur?
Förälskad är att ta i. Men jag obsessar hellre över såna än riktiga människor. Riktiga människor är så oberäkneliga och har egen vilja och annat trams. :/

Om du skulle byta kön för ett år, ingen begränsning med pengar, vad skulle du planera in då?
Planera? Jag skulle experimentera! Hur stor blyertspenna kan man köra in under förhuden innan den går sönder? JAG VILL VETA!

Du sitter och fikar med en människa du inte känner så bra och en pinsam tystnad börjar närma sig, vad börjar du prata om för att försöka undvika den?
Ingenting. Jag är världssämst på att konversera. Har jag inget vettigt att säga håller jag käft. Gäller bara irl, förstås. ._.

Vad får dig att bli riktigt arg?
Djurplågeri. Jag skulle inte ha några som helst problem med att kastrera djurplågare med ett cykelhjul.

Te avnjuts bäst med...?
filt och bok.

Har du någon livsfilosofi och om du nu har det, hur kom du fram till den?
Yesh, men jag pallar fan inte gå in på den nu. Sånt ska diskuteras nattetid, det är då man är som förtroligast.

Har du lätt att öppna dig för nya människor?
Nowai. Enda sättet är att använda konservöppnare.

Tror du på astrologi?
Inte som framtidsförutsägelser, däremot som industri.

Spöken, finns de? Och om du tror, vad fick dig att komma till den slutsatsen?
Jo, jag tror vad jag ser. Sen om det jag sett är sömnbristshallisar eller övernaturligheter får nån annan spekulera om.

Om du fick vara en filmskurk, vem skulle du välja?
Venom. <3

Tv ringer och ber dig att komma på ett koncept till en ny tv-serie (fakta eller dokumentär, fritt val) vad skulle du komma med för förslag?
En dokumentär om polisongernas betydelse för synen på polismakten mellan 1890 och 1920.

Hur ser en vanlig kväll ut i ditt liv?
Plugg, taekwondo, kel och promenad med Tilda, alternativt kel utan promenad med Oscar.

En ny revolutionerande metod att framställa kunskap i tablettform har utformats och du är en av testpersonerna. Vilken talang skulle du vilja äta pillret för?
Jag skulle kunna teleportera. Fan vad soft det hade varit.

Vilket tv-spel skulle du vilja vara i för en dag (självklart med obegränsade extraliv)?
Shadow of the Colossus.
I have good news and bad news. The bad news is, I just ate an entire onion and now my stomach hurts. The good news is, I'm really really hooked on Chrono Cross and it's been a long time since I've felt this way about a videogame.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Holy shit. 15 hours of work and I'm done with my giant paper of fatness. It probably sucks ass like nothing else, but atleast I turned it in at all. I've been working on it practically all my waking hours the past week, producing 10 pages a day. That is pretty fucking mindblowing when you're writing about something that you have no interest in whatsoever.

Also, I got bitten in the eye by a dog again. Not my own this time, and it was worse too. But whatever. Eye made it.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Sunday, May 16, 2010

best. film. ever.

EVER OF ALL TIME AMEN.

cred Oscar, even though you're an ass who won't pass me the fucking 7up.

(Edit: he did pass me the 7up eventually.)

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

ha.

Setting: Oscar's place. His brother William comes into the room with a coca cola for Oscar.

Oscar: Oh sweet! Hey William, I can make Linda fart.
William: Uh, okay.
Oscar: Using the coca cola.
Linda: I don't fart from coke, I just burp a lot.
Oscar: Who says you're gonna drink it? ;D;D
Linda: AHAHAHAH
William; GOD YOU'RE DISGUSTING

Monday, May 10, 2010

addict.

In ten days, I'm supposed to deliver a 25 000 word essay on.. dude, I don't even remember. I try to study, try to research, couple of hours ago I even managed to read two whole pages without disruption, but most of my time I just sit around wishing Oscar was here so I could hug him and bury my nose in his hair for the rest of the week. Guess we're lucky he has a job to go to or we'd be siamese twins by now.

Open letter to James Cameron.

Saw Avatar the other day. At first I thought it more "meh" than anything else, but the more I think about it, the more it pisses me off. It's stupid, shallow, derogatory and downright offensive. And for being such an orgy in colors it's extremely black and white. It's an insult to indigenous peoples and to every other person with basic knowledge about the going ons in the world. Yeah the big bad army men are the bad guys for wanting their stupid mineral. They're evil and deserves their asses kicked, which of course they get, (by the white guy who transforms to a different species and does just fine doing so at that).

But, if you called it coltane or diamonds rather than unobtanium, and found out that it's needed for making your jewellery, cell phones, camera lenses, GPS-systems, videogames, etc, rather than just fetching high prices for rich people for no real reason, and you realized the deaths of millions of people, REAL people, are the results and that YOUR consumption habits and general ignorance is partly responsible, would you still feel oh-so-indignant on behalf of the Na'vi? When your economy and wealth and the power of your country depends on it? Or when you think of the fact that your driving a car, heating up a house, eating your hamburgers, using a computer, buying a James Cameron movie, all in different ways contribute to these very real deforestations, displacements, tortures, genocides? When you realize that in the real world you are the villain and that not being a villain demands serious changes in your own life, all of a sudden things get complicated and it's not so much fun anymore. So let's hide that fact and blame someone else shall we?
Yes. That's what I thought. I'm surprised they even let the evil army men speak American English in this piece of shit racist flick. But then again, they did state early in the film that these guys were no longer involved in the heroic act of saving their country. Cause even though that's never harmed anyone either, we still have to make sure America can't be blamed. Being offensive means less money for James Cameron.

And seriously, the white army guy who turns to a life in the ridiculously perfect society in the ridiculously perfect eco system where no insect will ever bite your ass when you shit in the forest and no tribe ever disagrees with another? Takes his crippled ass a mere three months to be integrated, accepted, a skilled warrior and the sixth person in history to tame the wildest of beasts. Mr Cameron - Jimmy, seriously. You don't really think too highly of tribal people do you? The whole gentle savage stereotype got old four hundred years ago. And the good old "the white guy needs to come save you cause you're too primitive to do it yourself"? You deserve having your face shat upon, you fucking hick. I love T2 and Aliens and I used to admire your work, but if I ever saw your rich, white ass now I would probably induce serious amounts of pain to it, for this kind of stupidity and hypocricy should not be unpunished. And most fucking definately not rewarded with three Oscars and a shitload of money.

By the way, how much did you spend on advertising this film? How many millions did you earn yourself? How much of it are you using to help REAL indigenous peoples and saving their home lands? How much media attention are you directing towards these very real problems that have long term, lethal effects for everyone on the planet? Cause they're dying. Like for real. While you're making money turning them into entertainment.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

I'm very much in love with life again. Friday I practiced my dwit huryo chagi until I could hardly walk and then I spent two hours talking to my TKD-master and a bunch of other people in the dojang afterwards. I also almost broke S's arm. Great, great times. Saturday I took a long walk with my dog, she went into the river five times to drink and swim and play and she was just so happy it was impossible not to laugh when looking at her. The rest of the weekend was spent with my Oscar. Great, great times.

I just wish I could learn to take things for granted, like most people do. I wish I could take for granted that Oscar's here to stay and that my TKD-friends will remain my friends even when/if they actually get to know me. But I can't. And that's what's really bothering me, I think.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

This. Is. UNBEARABLE.

http://blog.eu.playstation.com/2009/10/14/kojima-on-metal-gear-solid-peace-walker/

The guy being interviewed? Hideo fucking Kojima, the god of gods. The guy doing the interview? MY OLD FRIEND JEM WHOM I HAVE NOT SPOKEN TO IN YEARS AND NOW HAS THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD AND AAARGH.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

tkd

I got tackled by the dog yesterday. Three times. And then I went to TKD and got kicked in the face. That was only once though. Oscar-TKD-master-Oscar asked me if I'd been practicing in secret, cause I nailed one kick almost perfectly. That made me warm and fuzzy inside. I suck so bad at TKD I get ridiculously happy when the instructors give me a satisfied nod or an appriciative pat on the back. Fuckin hell I love taekwondo, it's better than the bestest of sex.

Anyway, to the actual subject of the day:

http://www.moanmyip.com/

Monday, April 19, 2010

Monday, April 12, 2010

日本i愛あなたは

Spent the day spring cleaning the dog. Twenty minutes later she took a bath in a bog and ran up to me smiling, covered in black goo. God I hate my dog almost as much as I love her.

Anyway, the tale of my trip to Japan. Starring Yours Truly, a person we can call Ryan who is a lot like Bruce Willis in the sense that they're both bald and boyscouts, a person we can call Marie who is a half-japanese New Yorker, a person we can call Promdee who is a 61-year old biology teacher from Thailand, and a person we can call Erin, who is Taiwanese and knows all about fortune tellers.

My trip had the worst possible start, I was stuck in Tokyo alone at night, jetlagged and tired and confused and utterly unable to get a hold of Ryan. Waited six hours before collapsing in a hotel bed after unintentionally eating seaweed flavored pop corn.
Second day the bald bastard boyscout finally called me and I headed to Osaka to catch up. I made it just in time for the last sumo matches. That was awesome. Osaka in general is awesome. I loved Montreal, but Osaka, lordy, Osaka is heaven. They have crab robots. Climbing buildings. Amen.

After Osaka we went to Kyoto, climbed two mountains, hung out with monkeys, visited Himeiji castle and a shitload of other castles and temples. Kyoto is just as awesome as Osaka, but in a different way. Osaka is a badass motherfucker, Kyoto is more dignified. Osaka is like Hard Gay while Kyoto is more like Mana-sama.

Next on the list was Nagoya, where we were supposed to meet up with a friend of Ryan's. The friend didn't show so we hung out with old Japanese people at a local pub, got drunk on a bunch of different types of sake and beer and japanese vodka and so on. A 58-year old news paper editor called me cute which made me laugh until I choked. One of the old guys, Kawase, took us to his restaurant where he gave us home made booze containing rohypnol and raped us. The last part of that sentence is actually a lie, I just added it for excitement. But he did give us home made booze.

Mt Fuji was an amazing sight. We got there in the evening, so tired we could barely walk to the stupid hotel. Spent some time standing by the side of the road in silence, marvelling at the mountain. I completely understand why it had divine status. The hotel room was on the ninth floor with a view over Fuji. The restaurant was on the 12th floor, cost as much as I would make selling my kidneys on the black market, and had really shitty food. Only cool thing about it was that they left the foot on the chicken I ordered. Claws are always a plus, regardless of what you eat. Especially oatmeal.
Setting foot on Fuji, not that exciting. It was a foggy day and the mountain disappeared in the mist. Took an early train to Tokyo after checking out the local theme park, and of course, the onsen. Outdoor volcanic hot spring = gasm. But not in the water, they get upset with that.

Tokyo is fantastic. It's clean, it's quiet, people are respectful and kind, and there are vending machines everywhere. The ATM tells you to have a nice day and each train station plays it's own little tune when a train is on the way. I love it.
Akihabara is a wet dream for dorks. I adore Harajuku. Shibuya is awesome, so is Shinjuku, Ginza, Ueno, Asakusa, and every other place I went. We also took a trip to the countryside outside of Tokyo, visiting Kamakura and a bunch of other little villages.
Saw the ocean, a giant Buddha statue, a cat, and about 130, 000 sakura trees. Only place in Tokyo I didn't like was Roppongi, simply because a huge black guy grabbed my butt and called me baby there. Never once felt unsafe even in the middle of the night in Tokyo, that experience set aside.

Last day on Ryan and Marie's trip we went to a ninja restaurant with Marie's Japanese cousins. They didn't speak much English but I really liked them both. The youngest one, didn't catch her name, made me an origami crane. My favourite thing from Japan. The restaurant was cool, any place that has their menu on scrolls that are set aflame after you order is cool in my book.

I had four days left in Japan when the Americans went back home. I was planning on going to Hiroshima to check out the peace museum, but it would cost way too much and I'd already had to cut my trip short before. So I stayed in Tokyo and made friends with Promdee and Erin instead, with whom I went to the imperial palace, a sakura festival thing and a bunch of other neat places. I also got to know an awesome Canadian named Teresa that I didn't get to spend nearly enough time with.
My last day I went on a shopping spree with Erin. She bought clothes, I bought stupid stuffed toys resembling video game characters. Gotta know your priorities. Last thing we did that night was eat copious amounts of sushi and drink beer until we giggled like little girls.

I kid you not when I say I had the best trip ever. And best of all? I didn't have to feel horrible angst about going home. First time on that one.

Best things about Japan though, is the people. They're amazing. My favourite memory is from when I was in Akihabara, after the Americans left, before I met Erin and Promdee. I was just wandering around alone looking for gifts to my brother and cousin, and the stupid arcade stick for Oscar, when it started raining really hard. I didn't really mind the rain, it was warm and not horribly annoying, but I did of course get quite wet. So I was standing at a crossing waiting for a green light when suddenly the rain ceases to hit my head. I look up and realize it's not because the rain stopped, but because this Japanese guy is holding his umbrella over me. I tried talking to him but he just smiled and shrugged, and when the light turned green he gave me the umbrella and literally ran off. It was the sweetest thing I've ever seen and I kept that umbrella until the day I left. Would've taken it with me if I could've, as a reminder that not all people are self centred, self serving cuntsacks.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

In Nagoya now. Ive seen approximately 270 castles, temples and gardens, climbed two mountains,handfed monkeys, hung out with elderly japanese restaurant owners, and last night I also ate whale meat. Ryan and I went to a local pub to try some real old fashioned sushi and ran into this really happy bunch of people. One news paper editor, a "nozomi train pilot" as he called himself (hes a fucking subway driver) and the previously mentioned restaurant owner. They bought us sake, japanese vodka, japanese beer and of course some awesome Nagoya specialties food wise. We talked about whale hunting, books, swedish meatballs, american women, mountain climbing and nepalese children while getting drunk and smoking menthol cigarettes. After a while we went over to the restaurant owners place where he served us home made booze that tasted kind of like kaluha, and talked some more. He asked me to find him a swedish woman cause the japanese were all too skinny. Anyone interested in a 61 year old mountain climber with an awesome beard, let me know and Ill give you his number.

Best night ever.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

You walk down a street, any street, in Osaka. You look at the buildings and see awesomeness everywhere. Giant crabs climbing walls, octopuses, statues depicting giant heads on feet. You look at the people and go NNNNGH #splurt# cause they have THESE CHEEKBONES AND OMG theyre hot. All of them. It takes a lot of self control to not rape people in the face when youre in Japan. Luckily, self controlling is what I do best. Besides from writing stupid ramblings in a stupid blog when I should be sleeping.

Which Ill be doing wearing a tshirt that smells like Oscar. Cause Im really gay like that.
Yesterday was the worst day in a long time. No sleep, no food, lots and lots of jetlag and no Ryan Hurst to be seen. So I waited at the airport for about 11 hours before giving up and going to a hotel I really could not afford. I slept in a bed the size of a swimmingpool which was great and took two, I count two, long showers which was even better. Just had breakfast and about to head out to Osaka to find the fledgling Americans and see the sumo wrestlers touch eachother like only men can do.

Awesome things about Japan:

every machine i have seen here so far has puppies or baby foxes on the screens. Also they sound like Tachikomas.

There are people working at the airport whose only job seems to be cleaning doorknobs.

they drive on the wrong side of the road

THERE ARE SAKURA TREES!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

ohgod.

The taste of Oscar in my mouth, the scent of Oscar on my skin and in my hair, the reminiscence of his body still keeping me warm even hours after he went to work. And tomorrow at 5 AM I'm taking the train to the airport and the plane to Tokyo, and I never ever ever thought I'd say this but I don't want to go to Japan.

Monday, March 22, 2010

"Nu ska jag gå till tvättstugan. Jag kommer säkert få det jättebra där."
- My aunt's boyfriend is unintentionally hilarious.

Called home earlier. My dad called me a piece of shit, asked me to buy a zulu spear to pierce the cat with, and demanded that I bring home the skin of a Japanese child when I return from the land of the rising sun. He later went on to tell me he hoped my eyeballs turn triangular. My dad is fucking awesome.

Lastly, I bought a new cellphone, hopefully I will now be able to communicate my thoughts of awesome even when I'm off to uncivilized lands. Those of you worthy will recieve the number soon.

Mmmm.

Oscar has now been formally introduced to the most important person in my life; my dog. And she only tried to bite him once. Success.

I learned something else about him last night aswell. He's a wonderful kisser.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

in my dreams, I see that town..

Yesterday (well, technically today too since we hung out til like 5:30 a.m) was awesome, seeing Oscar again was great and it was plenty fun playing videogames all night. Silent Hill: Shattered Memories generally sucked but dr. K is plain fucking badass. He alone makes the game worth playing and I'm not even exaggerating.

Four conclusions after last night:
1, Harry Mason is an excellent pedophile.
2, There need to be more games featuring albinos.
3, Oscar is so cool. When I grow up I'm gonna have a beard just like his.
4, He also has a really nice voice.


Today my dear old papa came over, we went for a walk in the rain and the mud. He's obviously not happy with the way things are going, but he seemed okay. Which is good. I'm not okay when he's not okay.

Also, my dog has started some sort of intellectual pursuit. Atleast she's started going through my books when I'm not around. I think she's cheating with the reading though, she turns the pages way too fast for a six year old.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

*moan*

onward inward.

Tranquil state of mind. Letting my thoughts wander again and my fingers on the keyboard with them.

Today was so badass. Spring is on the way, I'm getting a really good connection with my dog, I had a great session with my shrink, my dad sounded slightly less miserable on the phone, and I just had really good springrolls. I'm really close to being out of my depression. It's the first time in many years I don't spend the majority of my thoughts on the former best friend. It's the first time in about two years I feel okay with myself and my life. I have stuff to look forward to and I'm making progress, as a dog trainer, a martial artist, a student, a person.
Losing my former best friend was devastating, losing myself was worse. I've regained some parts of myself, and grew new ones where the old were entirely lost. I still relapse, but that's okay. And as always, once you're out, it was worth it. I gave my all, I lost it, but that's okay. Atleast I had the guts to try at all and I learned things about myself along the way. And that's what it's all about. Trying, pushing, sometimes failing, learning, growing.

Right now my main focus is on school, which is really fun these days. I love learning and I love the fact that the things I'm learning will be used in practice in a not too distant future. Knowing my words and my work may make a difference in the world is a pretty exciting feeling.

I'm also really happy I have Tilda to drown in love and affection. She doesn't get disgusted with me for caring, which is cool. She cares back, which is even cooler. I'm also insanely grateful to my dad, my aunt, her boyfriend, my grandma, cousin and also my shrink for being there for me, letting me know I matter to them.

I'm incredibly grateful for the friends that patiently stood by and waited even when I went into my shell and disappeared on them for a year and a half. Especially Lan, my sweet bacon loving canindian friend, who kept in touch with me even despite what his big brother did and my reactions to it. I'm also really happy about my new friends, and potential friends-to-be. Some of whom dare travel to Japan with me, some of whom read my blog and still dare to talk to me. I don't know what's wrong with you people. But I want you to know I have a knife and I'm not scared of using it.

00.40

R: Yesterday at 12:08pm:
Ska du ha dig en smocka?

L: Yesterday at 6:23pm:
Det hoppas jag att du förstår att jag vill. Väldigt, väldigt mycket. ·

R: Yesterday at 9:10pm:
Då.. eh.. får du väl ha det då.

L: 10 minutes ago:
Du ska få en len smekning i stjärten i gengäld. Med en sidenfjäder indränkt i smält smör. ·

Sunday, March 14, 2010

koi

Two awesome things about yesterday:

1, Seeing a hedgehog fish, which is the coolest fish I've seen in a long time:



It's got the cutest mouth ever. You can't see it in this picture, but it also has blue eye shadow and glowing eyes.

2, Seeing Oscar, who is, if not as cute as the hedgehog fish, still pretty damn cute. And also funny, really knowledgeable about videogames and generally great company. Last night was the best in a long time.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Oh god.

It just hit me. I'm closer to 30 than 20.

Motherfucker, you old.

darling dogs.

The list of incidents starting with my birthday sink-miracle continues. Day before yesterday, my dog decided to jump into a huge pile of leaves that, unfortunately, consisted more of cat shit than leaves. I had to shampoo her six, I shit you not, six times to get rid of the stink, and by the time she stopped smelling, the bathroom and yours truly smelled even worse.

Later in the evening, one of the other dogs puked in my bed. He'd eaten a rat the day before that didn't agree with his stomach. A half-digested rat in the bed was not really what I'd wished for, but it was still nice of him to give me a present none the less.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

the List.

My aunt has gotten this strange desire to marry me off lately.

A list of her intended suitors covering the past week:

1: Her boyfriend's brother. He's a 50 year old dragshow artist, which is cool, but somehow just not marriage-material in my book.

2: The guy hired to paint my grandma's place. "He's german and has a nice apartment, he told me he has a red fridge!". Yeah.

3: A suicidal alcoholic with a serious oidipus complex.

4: My cousin's 19 year old friend. He's gay by the way.

Oh well. Atleast she's not like S, who is trying to marry me off to a dutch guy who likes buying parrots just to put them in his fridge and watch them die.

AAAAAAHAHAH!

I had the best birthday ever. It started with a bookshelf breaking down and spewing books all over the floor. It continued with the upstairs neighbor getting a clogged sink, which he solved with such ingenious action that black goop started gushing out of MY sink, and onto the floor, ruining.. well, pretty much evertything in the kitchen. I then had to spend two hours waiting for dirty polish men with a long ass tube to come suck things out of the sink and into their goop-sucker-truck outside. My dog didn't try to eat them, that was actually quite surprising to me and a real relief. Anyway, once the polish people were out and the floor was clean, there were 15 minutes left until my birthday guests were arriving. We all helped out and coughed up the most awesome chicken dinner ever. My aunt, uncle, grandma and cousin, with three dogs were there. I got two pairs of pants, two vietnamese and thai cook books, MGS4 (Loba, if you weren't my cousin I'd give you a rimjob, I love you), and some money. Best present though were five hours of intense laughter and the feeling of actually being cared for.
Having the parents over tomorrow, hopefully without incidents.

Monday, March 1, 2010

birthdaydethday



My birthday is on friday. You know you want to give me something. Yes you do.

http://www.survivalinternational.org/actnow/writealetter

Do this and I'll be eternally grateful.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

whoopwhoop

I have to analyze how the UNDP uses communication for development. I've spent the past three days trying to care enough to get started. But alas.

I also have to start an actual intercultural project for sustainable development. That's gonna be way harder but way more fun. I can't wait to do something practical instead of just sitting here watching my ass get fatter.

Three cool things:
1, I'll have my drivers' permit in about a month.
2, I'm 75% sure I've nailed an awesome job as a freelance writer. I'll know for sure within two weeks.
3, I found the most awesome apartment, and I might even have a shot at getting it.

With my usual luck none of these things are gonna happen anyway, but for the moment I'm pleased just being able to hope. One cool thing I KNOW is gonna happen is my Japan trip. 3½ weeks to go. Starting to build up an "EEK" in the back of my throat.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

I'm at my parents' place for the weekend. My dad is telling my dog a story about a hotdog and two meatballs trying to get to the moon. They're passing through a forest full of dangerous scouts wanting to eat them, but they manage by hitchhiking with vegetarians. Eventually they reach the promised land, Iran, where noone will ever try to eat them.

I hope my brother has kids some day, my dad would be such an awesome granddad.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

g-man

I have crabs. Not the genital parasite, the sea-living things. Like Sebastian from Little Mermaid. Yeah those. And they're good. That's it for today.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Saturday, February 20, 2010

limbs anyone?

So I'm sitting here sorta-listening to a lecture on, I quote, "communication as a tool in the fight against female genital mutilation". And I'm giggling. At the realization that the ones who tell people from other cultures that their ideals are fucked and sick and dangerous, are themselves from a culture of people who inject nerve poison into their faces to avoid wrinkles. Who spend approximately 20 times what your average Tanzanian makes in a year, on whitening their teeth. Who inject silicone into their chests and asses. Who fuck strangers on TV for fame and money. Who have anorexia and bulimia and plastic surgery and people who cut themselves because they're not perfect enough.

Genital mutilation is not a problem to most people who practice it. Some women interviewed are actually disgusted to hear that we don't practice it in our parts of the world. Obviously it shouldn't be forced on anyone, that I agree is a problem that should be dealt with, but for those who do want to go through these rituals, why the fuck shouldn't they? It's hardly any stranger than any of the things we take for granted over here. I'm so sick of the blindness and self-righteousness and general inability to not fucking judge people.

Friday, February 19, 2010

2010

Things I've learned in 2010:

1. My dog could fart the lid off a well. Seriously. If she had been around in the early 1940's, she would've made Jews hitchhike to Auschwitz to get away from her.

2. I'm pretty damn good at this whole cooking-thing. Yesterday I made moose-meatballs with a carrot/onion/portabella mushrooms wok, and fried tomatoes with basil and olive oil for dinner. Tres awesome. Today I made popcorn. Even I can't be awesome all the time.

Daym.

2009 taught me two things:

1. A woman can fake an orgasm, a man can fake an entire relationship.

2. It can't rain all the time. Sometimes it snows.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Tilda.

So, that dog of mine. She's amazing. She's the reason I wake up, the reason I go outside, the reason I don't just stay in bed and play PSP while waiting for my retirement. Mathilda came to me from a home for abused animals, after having spent three years living in a small concrete cage, beaten, malnourished and alone. The first time I met her she attacked and bit me in the face. If she had been younger and faster I probably would've lost an eye, but all I got was a bloody nose and lip. It took her two weeks to trust me enough to allow me to touch her. After three weeks she never left my side when we went out. A month and she's getting protective of me. Now, she's the most loyal and wonderful companion one could imagine. She's still making progress every day and it's so awesome to see her happy.

I was supposed to take care of her for two weeks. I never returned her to the shelter. They even gave her to me for free, telling me they'd never seen her as content as she was with me, and that they'd rather have her stay with me and lose money than have her back. I didn't choose her, she chose me. That's the only time anyone has ever chosen me.

Six more weeks..

..'til the trip of mah dreams. The plan so far:


March 25th arrival in Tokyo
March 26th-27th in Osaka, Sumo Championships
March 28th-29th in Kyoto
March 30th in Nagoya
March 31st at Mt Fuji
April 1st-4th in Tokyo, Sakura Festival

After that my travel buddy is going home and I'm taking it easy on the planning, going to go back down the country to Hiroshima, Gifu, and to Kamakura where I'm gonna be spending some time staying at a buddhist temple. After that, who knows. I'm staying for as long as my aunt puts up with taking care of my dog for me, which can mean one month or three. Obviously I'm hoping for the three. Pictures will be posted in abundance.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

brief update.



..also, I got a dog a couple of months ago. She gives me reason to wake up in the morning and say "what's up dawg?" and that's all I ask of life.

Gingerbread



I like creative baking, yessir I do.