Saturday, May 9, 2009

cold.

It's been five months since I came back now. Five fucking months. It feels like I've been stuck in an isolation cell for years and at the same time, my memories of Montreal are so alive and vivid, it feels like I just left yesterday.

Five months of nothing. I'm scared they'll fade. The canindians.
I'm scared of forgetting their faces, their voices, gestures, laughs. What it was like to be a part of something. What it was like to not have this fucking void in me. I'm even more scared of them forgetting. That I'll be just another name. People do that, they move on. I don't. I got nothing to move on to.

Pretty fucking pathetic to have a life where the past is more important than the present 98 % of the time. Where I'm a nuisance because I want to be a part of something that others take for granted and forgot they even had.

Pretty fucking pathetic overall.

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