Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Two important things happened today. First, I was sitting on the toilet when a spider wanders down my arm. I poked its shoulder gently to get its attention and it falls off my arm and into my pants. I take the pants off and shake them to get the spider out, but alas, it would not leave. I was confused and worried but eventually forced to put the pants back on anyway. It was traumatizing and if I give birth to Spiderman I don't know how to make the father pay child support. I don't even know that spider's last name. The dilemma.

Second, I went outside to sit on the grass and read in the Sunlight of Awesomeness. As soon as I picked out a good spot to plant my ass on, a vicious cloud deliberately gets in the way and the world turns cold. So I go back inside, and the sun comes out. So I go back out and the cloud goes AHA! and rushes right back. Fucking bastard did that over and over til I gave up and went to the computer instead. Now the sun is whoring its light to everyone in the fucking world out there, but it won't fool me again.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Talk about shitty luck!

StigmataHandjob said...

This may come as a surprise to you my dear anonymous friend, but girls sit when they pee too. Atleast the more traditional, conservative ones of us. I'm not saying I'm one of them but y'know.