Thursday, February 26, 2009

Moar.

My mothar has new deodorant. She got one that says "Pearl beauty mildly cares". I'm glad she got one that cares mildly. It'd suck to have pearl beauty that cares very little, or not at all. Or one that cares too much, causing your pearly armpits to try to save children from burning school buses or something.

Deodorants are really amazing. Such strong personalities.


(and I still demand your company in Göteborg or Malmö. I can't hold two grown men down and rape them at the same time you know, I'll need assistance).

OH DON'T STOP

NNNNGH *splurt* http://www.scifiworld.se/index_G2009.html aah.

Michael. Biehn.

He filled my wankor tankor during the entire 90s.

Along with HRWAAAAAA *splrrt* http://www.scifiworld.se/index_M2009.html ooohoh

Edward. Furlong.

And now they're both attending really small sci fi-conventions in Swedeland. I find that very sad, but if that'd what they'll put themselves through to get a chance to see me, by the power of Greyskull I will give heed to their prayers.

Or, well I'd like to. C'mon, how can you not want to meet the man who boned Sarah Connor? So, Göteborg march 7/8, and Malmö march 28/29. Anyone in? Out? In? Out?

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

yeah bitch.

I'm so fucking good with computers it's ridiculous.

Will säger:
sent it back
Will säger:
after i shat upon it
Shadow säger:
wonderful initiative
Will säger:
http://svn.haxx.se/users/archive-2006-09/0367.shtml
Will säger:
WWHHHYYYYY?!?!?!
Shadow säger:
but isnt it obvious?
Will säger:
it's fucking stuid
Will säger:
STUID
Will säger:
but it works !!
Shadow säger:
stuid.
Shadow säger:
"non-standad port for ssh"
Shadow säger:
its like
Shadow säger:
it puts its finger to your lips when youre talking
Shadow säger:
and goes ssh
Shadow säger:
i think thats the problem.
Will säger:
haha

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Nod.



I stole this one from Lisa. Because if there is anyone worth stealing from, it's her.

That didn't come out entirely right.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Chad.

This is indispensable. You need to read. Now.

http://www.greghoward.net/index.php/weblog/history_of_chad/

It is hi-la-ri-o-us.

Friday, February 20, 2009

HAHA

"Finland is a country where 90% of the population give the rest a bad reputation."

todays awesome expressions

#1: elf depracating.

#2: He likes black people so much he cries tears of chocolate.

#3: dragon knight of the lightning iron crown.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Fuckyeah.

I has deodorant. And the deodorant has magical powers. You see, it has "irresistable beauty" written on it, meaning my ampits will be so fucking hot, people will completely disregard my crater of a face and failed strudel dough of a body. Not to mention the sewage sludge that comes out of my mouth, whenever I choose to open it. They'll be like "oh so you ran over my hamster with the lawnmower? That's fine, as long as you let me lick your Hello Kitty wallet with coin compartment to express my admiration for your armpits".

Yeah, just like that.

(It doesn't even smell good.)
William delivers yet another gem of truth.

Shadow säger:
I tried talking to a japanese guy online
Shadow säger:
I think during the hour we spoke, he spent atleast 20 minutes apologizing
Will säger:
haha it's true
Will säger:
they're like canadians, but more canadian

Obama's elf.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_B5UrI7nAI

Awesome. Est. Ever.

Cred to Victor, my wonderful and very baldest friend.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

HAHA.

My mom works at a day care centre, with kids that are between one and four years old. Today at lunch time, the kids had been discussing just how stupid one can get. They had asked themselves and eachother and together they decided they should ask the king of Sweden, cause if anyone could decide just how stupid one was allowed to be, it would be him. So they wrote him a letter.

"Dear king,
how stupid can you get?"

Full of unintentional misspellings, obviously, but it's extra hilarious since the king is dyslexic. They wrote this all by themselves. Maybe there is hope for the future after all.

Monday, February 16, 2009

@#!¤foot.

I believe my right foot is in on the conspiracy designed to take my life. Or atleast make it as shitty as possible. I sprained my ankle again in taekwondo. Fifth time. I don't even have to do anything with it other than put it down for the foot to get all melodramatic and faint, rendering me unable to kick people in the face or even stand up properly.
O and A took good care of me though, A fetched ice and O rolled me up in so much ice and towels and bandage that my foot looked like a small boat. Then he patted me on the head for a while, which was nice. If O wasn't already taken and if I could lobotomize him into not resisting, I'd totally marry him. Or A, she's cool too. The others were really nice too, offered me walking support, rides home and empathy while also making fun of me. It was quite nice, I'm not used to attention.
I loves my TKD-family. The dojang is the only place in the country, actually, on this continent, where I feel like I belong and have a place.

Oh, also. John Malkovich joined my dojang. Maybe, just maybe, it's not actually him cause the guy has a Stockholm-dialect, but it totally looks just like him. Could be his brother I guess.

Score.

“There was some open space between what he knew and what he tried to believe, but nothing could be done about it, and if you can’t fix it you’ve got to stand it.”



..there you go, a Brokeback Mountain quote. It pretty much sums up my attitude this glorious evening.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Oh, and

My dad just set the kitchen on fire. It smells pretty bad. But I learned something from this. He put the fire out with beer. That proves that Swedish beer is very light. Another lesson is that it's a bad idea to do that if you're trying to improve the smell.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

w00t

Linda,

From the start to the end of your paper it is in your face, it’s full of facts and analysis and it contains good references to the course literature. I like it from the first sentence to the last. Your language is good and very strong.

I especially like that you lift the question of sustainable development (or rather unsustainable development). For example when you write that industrialization is premised on transforming nature from a regenerative system to mere raw material or when you write about overharvesting.

In all you manage to cover a lot of the important aspects of the texts and I am truly impressed.



Positive feedback ftw. Sometimes, I do like school. <3



I've decided..

..that if I'm gonna live, I'm going to live like humans are supposed to live. Aka, not a place where materialism, superficiality, comfort, and always striving for the easiest way out possible is the norm. Western people are all too fucking scared of actually living. Oh you can't do that, it's not safe, it's not clean, it's too hard, you won't be home for dinner. It's choking me, and it completely destroys all will to do anything at all. Money, vanity, ownership, rules, it destroys everything.

I want to live in a place where people value eachother above all. Where they're alive simply to live, where greed and prestige doesn't exist and who you are and what you can contribute with is all that matters. Where everyone has a place. Where there is no fucking plan, no agenda, no self-awareness, no competition. Where noone has to starve because they lack fucking pieces of paper with numbers printed on them. Where people aren't so fucking scared of of eachother they don't even dare to trust the people closest to them.

There are places like these, still. They're rapidly disappearing along with the rain forests. These people have no money but they're the richest people in the world. They have everything that matters, everything we lack. Obviously they're not perfect, no one is, but they're happy. We are not. They're genuine, generous, they can be themselves. They have quality of life. We lost that centuries ago. We replaced kindness and dignity with ownership and fear and jealousy. We're so scared to die we're too paralyzed to live. Our wonderful way of life has given us king size beds and 52" tv's, but we pay for it with mental illnesses and isolation.

Not to mention that we're raping and murdering the entire planet and millions and millions of lives have been lost or destroyed because of the quest for power and money.

I don't think my chances of getting to live with some indian tribe in the Amazonas are that great, unfortunately. What I can do is work to preserve their way of life, and promote it. And maybe some day, in South America or South Asia, I'll find a place that can be my home. Fuck knows it can never be on the northern hemisphere.

Valentine's day.





..you know you're as indifferent to that shit as I am. But with cards like these, even I would celebrate it.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Eh.

Facebook-thing. Since not all of you are on there and I'd hate for you to miss out on my extreme displays of wittiness, I'mma post it here too.

50 random questions . Here are the rules - post this list on your profile (in Notes) and replacing my answers with yours.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE??
Yes, after my real father, Rutger Hauer.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
When I watched Anal Cumsluts IV. It was very moving.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
It looks pretty cool. If only I could read it, it'd be perfect.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MEAT?
Boar.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Not that I know of.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Nope. There's no way I'd ever get to know me, unless the other me was more open and friendly than I am.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM
You really think I would do that to you?

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
They're here somewhere. I might have left them in my other pants.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Hell. Yes.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Kellogg's All Brain.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
This will remain a mystery.

12. RIGHT HANDED OR LEFT?
Whichever. I draw better with the right one, but left works too.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Ben & Jerrys chocolate brownie cookie fudge dough so-good-it'll-give-you-an-aneurysm.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
If they're attempting to kill me or not.

15. RED OR PINK?
I TOLD you I don't want to describe your condyloma to blind people, stop trying to trick me!

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF
Oh I only get to pick one? I can't do that, my other flaws would be jealous and try to outdo the one I pick. Hey, I guess that makes it jealousy. Wouldya lookit that.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
The fat gay bards I lived with in Canada. And my cat.

18. TEA OR COFFEE?
Lava. With a twist of lemon, of course.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
No pants, and curled toe shoes. Gold colour. And they glitter.

20. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL?
Horses.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Genitorturers - Liar's lair.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
The one that doesn't fucking care.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
A sleeping cat's belly. Summer rains on warm streets. Grass.Warm soil. The woods in spring. Books. My old horse.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Probably Nelson Mandela, wanting my help as usual.

25. FRUIT OR VEG?
Can has both?

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
K-1 and MMA.

27. HAIR COLOR?
No thanks, I've already got one.

28. EYE COLOR?
Can't, I'm allergic. :/

29. X RAY VISION OR BE ABLE TO FLY?
Be able to fly y0.

30. FAVORITE FOOD
Libanese.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Scary movies. But good ones, like [REC], The Isle or Tale of two Sisters.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
The Thing. <3

33. WHOS YOUR FAVORITE ACTOR/ACTRESS ?
Tim Roth.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Luckily, it's not up to me to decide.

35. HUGS OR KISS?
Killer combo.

36. WHAT WAS YOUR NICK NAME HAS A KID?
Is it just me or is your spelling and grammar gradually getting worse?

37. GOING OUT TO WATCH A MOVIE OR STAY IN?
Yes.

38. WHERE WAS YOUR LAST HOLIDAY?
Canada/USA.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
The black book of colonialism.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
I don't know but it's sticky. :(

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Didn't watch TV, I was too busy enjoying life.

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S)?
Horses chewing on hay. A cat purring. A fire crackling. Rain on a metal roof.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Uh.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Saskatchewan.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I can do that thing with my tongue that your boyfriend likes.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
In Dimension X.

47. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
A tie-dyed knitted vest. It's beige. And creamy.

48. WHOS YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Leichin, Loba, Lan.

49. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
We were in the same cell in Guantanamo.

50. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
YES! EVERYONE! IN THE WORLD! MUST! DO! IT! MUST!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Ugh.

Looks like I'm gonna have to be blind for the foreseeable (ha) future. I need new glasses. The glass alone would cost me about 850 dollars, plus frames, plus the work put into it. Alltogether it would cost me more than I make in about six months. My eyesight is really horrible, I'm literally blind without glasses or contacts. What I really need is fucking surgery, but that would cost me about 3500 bucks which, again, I am utterly unable of coughing up.
Everything that has to be custom made is really expensive these days. If it can be made by taiwanese kids it's all good, but something that takes actual skill to assemble demands special equipment and people who know how to use it. Those people are becoming quite rare.

Anyone need a kidney or something? I can give you good price for mine.

secks.

It would be kinda fun to moan your own name during sex. And afterwards you go "was it as bad for you as it was for me?" I don't count on ever having sex again so I'll leave it up to you, brave readers, to try it. And report back. Videotapes are also acceptable.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MUST.. HAVE... AIR

http://www.greghoward.net/index.php/weblog/get_ready_like_a_hot_machete/

Monday, February 9, 2009

Reflections.

If you tie a person by his hands and feet to trucks that pull him apart, would he really break in the middle? I don't know how that works, but I would imagine he would break at the weakest point, which I assume is where his arms are attached to his shoulders. I might be wrong of course.

Anyone know?

Saturday, February 7, 2009

The dalarna horse!

Oh god.

http://www.dalarnahorse.com/

Oh god.

I'm not sure if I should gag or laugh. I tried both simultaneously, and it didn't go too well.

Aw.

Will säger:
so what're you up to this evening?
Shadow säger:
nothing.
Shadow säger:
whats there to do? rake leaves?
Will säger:
pff.. leaves are for eating
Shadow säger:
thats salad dear, not birch
Will säger:
graze on the birch leaves
Will säger:
do it
Will säger:
party like it's 1685 and you have four stomachs


William is instant joy. Add water.

Friday, February 6, 2009

now.

Did it ever occur to you how fucking awesome it is just to piss? It's the best feeling in the world, by far. My old horse was a great pisser. She used to groan loudly as she relieved herself, you could really tell how much she enjoyed it. I tried the groaning thing. It feels good, but it tends to make people bang on the bathroom door and check if you're okay all the time. So I have to stop.

Or piss somewhere else.

Hm.

And some more.

Oh god I love this person.

http://www.wittandwisdom.com/home/2005/01/the_definition_.html#more

This.. is.. AWESOME.

Okay so maybe I shouldn't advertise for other peoples blogs on mine, but this guy is too fucking hilarious for the world to not know about him.

http://www.wittandwisdom.com/home/2006/09/flushing_the_to.html

Thursday, February 5, 2009

I maded a pun.

If you were a slut when you were in university, and you miss those days but don't really want to admit it, you could just say that you miss school because you used to enjoy the inseminars.

the epitome of everything that is wrong with you.

I think this is the ultimate description of why I hate the western world.

11:45 pm Nathan:
you back in the nethers?

11:46 pm Linda:
back in fuckin sweden. i hate it man. canada is awesome, i miss it so bad.

11:46 pm Nathan:
aww Canada IS awesome. but sweden cant be all bad

11:47 pm Linda:
theres a lot of truly gorgeous places. but all truly horrible people. like you go outside and the newspaper headline is "this is why I choose to wax my cunt, says Mimi, 27" and you just want everything to get aids

11:47 pm Nathan:
hahaha


EDIT: I just have to add this too, this is too good.

BJ skickat 2009-02-05 01:39:
Haha, the part about waxing cunt made me giggle
Shadow säger:
the worst part is, its fucking true
Shadow säger:
i saw that headline today
BJ säger:
I'm sorry
Shadow säger:
hahaha

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Explode.

Nervous system's down. My grandma is in the hospital, she went through seven hours of difficult surgery yesterday. I went to visit her today, it was fucking horrible. She was a gray shard of her usual self. She was too tired to even open her eyes. Without her I've really got nothing left, no reason to live whatsoever.
TKD is all I have to take my mind off things. There's no way in hell I would've still been here if I didn't have people to kick five hours/week.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Heh.

Dead Soul säger:
cause that IS what you are
Dead Soul säger:
a mere WHITE belt
Dead Soul säger:
lest you forget your place
Shadow säger:
thats YOUR fault
Dead Soul säger:
in the TKD hierarchy
Shadow säger:
i was SUPPOSED to have a yellow belt now
Dead Soul säger:
hey I’m not the one who had to train 8 years
Dead Soul säger:
to NOT get a belt
Shadow säger:
..or ARE you?
Dead Soul säger:
NO
Shadow säger:
the memories.. flooding into his head... he cant take it!
Shadow säger:
all these years of denial
Shadow säger:
swept away
Dead Soul säger:
pff no
Shadow säger:
because of one innocent comment
Dead Soul säger:
yeah right
Dead Soul säger:
it’s not like as if in 1998 I failed to show up at the inaugural brazilian jiujitsu level competition in Huntington, where I was slated to finish in the top 3, because I caved in under the pressure to perform
Dead Soul säger:
and to not fail my master
Dead Soul säger:
who placed high hopes on me
Dead Soul säger:
it’s not like that ever happened
Dead Soul säger:
I don’t know what you’re talking about
Shadow säger:
not to worry.. we have your master here in the studio, with us. its time to reconcile
Shadow säger:
today on Jerry Springer special ”i failed my master in 1998 and now i want to come clean”.



Man I miss Leichin.