Friday, January 30, 2009

Weelleam

Will säger:
!?@$?!@$?!#@$@#
Shadow säger:
!
Will säger:
WHFSAF INADEQUATE EFFORT


<3

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Drip.

Cristofer Columbus got himself a new habit when he went to Haiti for the second time. He started giving his friends native women to rape, as presents. The catholic men were delighted. If the natives protested against having their wives, daughters and sisters taken and abused, they were killed. How lucky they were that the good christians came and saved them from their barbarian ways.

Good thing we don't have that attitude towards non-whites anymore.

Oh wait, we do. Never mind.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Uh. Ah. Uh.

TKD. One and a half hours of kicking and punching and blocking and more than a little laughing. There's a bunch of new people, some of them are really cool. One guy had broken his finger and claimed it would prevent him from doing push ups. "You're a whiny little bastard aren't you?" someone said. "Now that you mention it, he totally is. That's the second time in a week he can't use his broken finger. He's a real sissy."
I also accidently smacked Oscar in the face when we were supposed to hit eachothers shoulders. I told him it was cause his face looks like a shoulder. He thought it made sense, but told me he'd make me suck on my sweaty t-shirt after training, as payback.

It is teh <3.

150 push ups is however not teh <3. I actually threw away the soap three times afterwards in the shower, cause I simply couldn't control my muscles enough to just use it.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Babydragon.

It's good to know someone still has use for me, and trusts me.

Lan säger:
ima call you father linda cause I love sharing my thoughts with you
Shadow säger:
haha
Lan säger:
god linda why dont u just become a phsyciatrist

..even if he's a 15 year old indian kid who speaks fondly of bacon.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Arnold<3

"If a terminator can value human life - maybe we can too."


..nah.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Obama.

I find it funny how Obama is praised for working towards closing down Guantánamo. Like he actually had a choice. Then again, I guess people got used to not being able to expect much from an American president, I mean, the old one decided he had the right to break every national and international law based on them being "impractical". I love how what he did was way worse than anything the nazis ever came up with, and how he gets away with it. The injustices are really fucking unbelieavable. Chenega Federal System, a private company that sent sixteen "interrogation strategists" to Guantánamo, made 152 million dollars on torturing people. It put them among the top 500 stock companies. They were delighted and proud.

In medieval times, they had rules for how long you were allowed to torture someone, how often, and how old the subject would be. For humanitarian reasons. America had no such scruples. The youngest person tortured in Guantánamo was 13. They also didn't need anything that resembles a reason or evidence. This of course being America, not medieval torturers. See, they were atleast remotely civilized. Donald Rumsfeld didn't think this was too bad. He compared torture to initiation rites in universities.

Of course not all Americans are bad. There were actually american legal experts who volunteered to try torture, to see how bad it really was. They discovered it was pretty shit. So they decided to work against it, and got fired in the process. I can see why, I mean, torturing taxi drivers from Yemen who did nothing wrong except run away from bombs is so important that it justifies the president making torture and terror Americans main export. The vast majority of the people in Guantánamo had absolutely nothing to do with any terrorism. In fact, only 8 % of the prisoners were even under suspicion of being linked to Al Quaeda. They were simply people who had been sold to America for money. Orphans and others who had noone to protect them from being kidnapped and sold, shoplifters, prostitutes, poor and sick, and various other people who noone would miss. Win-win situation, the villages in Pakistan got rid of unwanted elements, they got paid for the trouble, and America had lots and lots of people noone cared about, to maim. This according to a CIA rapport from 2002. If fuckin' CIA admits it, it's bad. 55 % of the prisoners, according to Pentagon, were actually proven not fucking related to any terrorism whatsoever, but were still kept at Guantánamo for years.

So Obama's closing Guantánamo. What about the other concentration camps and prisons? Like Abu Gharaib? Bagram? Kandahar? The ones in Afghanistan, Armenia, Azerbajdzjan, Bulgaria, Georgia, Kazakstan, Latvia, Pakistan, Poland, Romania, Thailand, Czech Republic and Hungaria? And the ones on countless other secret locations and on American warships in international waters, like USS Bataan? According to Amnesty International, 70 000 people had been held, illegally, in american prisons outside the US borders, in 2005. That was four years ago. I imagine they added a few since then.
What Bush did, making himself emperor of the fucking world, has absolutely nothing to do with justice, or even counter terrorism. It's all about showing who's the boss. Now, America prodly states Martin Luther Kings dream came true. They have a black president. I'd like them to know that nigga please, nothing has fucking changed. You just switched the blacks for the arabs and expanded. Global arena to play on instead of southern US, bitches, yeah!

If Obama is serious about fixing the shit his predecessor did, which I hope and would like to believe he is, there are two things he needs to do ASAP. He HAS to send George Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, John Ashcroft, George Tenet, Condoleezza Rice, Alberto Gonzales, William J Haynes II, John Yoo, Jay S Bybee and the rest of the people responsible, to Haag to be put on trial for their crimes against humanity. And he has to revise the "laws" that protect Americans from being responsible for their war crimes, that legalize insane practices that totally go against international law, that allow people to be tried without defense, without even knowing what they're accused for. He needs to reinstate true democracy, meaning move power back to the Senate, away from the courts. Sounds hard? What's the alternative?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

LOOK AT THIS!

I got the bestest present ever. Sophia, you're awesome and I love you. Like, lots. And I love Black Mage, he's hanging over my bed now, just being gorgeous in general. I'm going to look at it when I mast--HRRRM mast...er my.. er.. japanese kanji. Yes. That's right.


Today I went to a library I hadn't been to before. I got eight books, about torture, colonialism, Mesopotamia, Charles Lindberg, Ludwig Wittgenstein, haunted castles in Sweden, social psychology, and police dogs. I think I confused the lady who works there. It was a really nice place though, one of the few I can stand even though there are humans around. There was one man, about 70 years old or so, sitting in there completely absorbed by his comic book. I found that pretty cool for no particular reason.

I also went for a long ass walk on the beach. No wind, loads of sun, no people and only one stray dog. It was goodness. I sorted a few things out in my head. I'm going to start riding horses again, asap, and as soon as I can afford a plane ticket I'm going to New Zeeland to find some fucking farm to work on for a year or so. I figure there has to be some social recluse who needs help giving his sheep manicures and stuff.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Minister.

The past week I've been feeling a lot like Trevor in Made in Britain. Hanging out with my wonderful cousin of cool was awesome and took the edge off the worst though. We went to Copenhagen during the day, spent the evening drinking, playing Left4Dead and watching Zoolander and Party Monster, before going out with his insanely blond friend Henrik. My cousin is so fucking awesome, no one has ever made me laugh like him.
After I got back home I had to go to a family dinner, which I figured would be insanely dreadful but really wasn't, even though I was hungover.

My grandma has a friend, let's call him N. N is from El Salvador, where he was a political prisoner before he managed to escape after imprisonment and severe torture. He can never go back home, and he can never see his family again. He has five children, three of them are dead. He couldn't visit them before they died, couldn't go to their funerals, can't ever visit their graves. All his fingers have been crushed, he has no teeth left, his feet are lumps and let's just say he won't ever be a father again. He suffers from severe PTSD, obviously, his insomnia is worse than mine and he has memory problems. He remembers in his dreams, which is why he doesn't sleep if he can help it.
And he's fucking hilarious. So full of life. He didn't let it break him. Talking to him felt like a kick in the throat, in the good way. His Swedish skills are extremely limited and he still managed to crack jokes that were way funnier than the vast majority of my friends ever could. I've only met the guy twice and he already kind of feels like a fourth granddad (yeah I had three, don't ask). It doesn't even bother me that he called me little princess, without even being slightly sarcastic. Anyone else and I would've gnawed his throat off.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Salty.

Two things:
1) I'm drunk
2) my cousin makes the best pop corn in the country
3) Left4Dead is awesome

So that's three. I've never been very good at math anyway.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Booooredom.

I had two choices.
I could either read John Grisham, or measure the toilet paper.

The toilet paper is 25 meters long, 9,8 cm wide, weighs 133 grams and is divided into 198 sheets.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Journal of elder abuse & neglect


I find this intriguing. Who writes this? Who reads it? Is it a how-to-book?
I would totally get a subscription if it wouldn't cost me 167 dollars, just to see the look on the mailmans face when he delivers it. Especially when I start asking how old he is and if he has any relatives that would notice if he suddenly disappeared.

I think..

..my main problem is that I care way more about others than I've ever cared about myself. I'm not adding a positive value to that really, if anything it quite sucks balls. Having self-preservation skills can be pretty useful, I'm told.
Actually, I care way more about everything in general than other people do. Things just affect me so much more than they affect real people. I can't just shrug off an injustice. I kind of wanted to work with setting shit right, for that reason, in an animal shelter or something, but I don't think I could do it. I'd get myself killed trying to transplant my kidney to a squirrel.
I also sort of hate my inability to never give less than 100%. It wears me out so bad, I'll never be able to do anything full time. I either double it or get so exahusted I can't do jack shit. I get disappointed, in everything and everyone, all the time. And it makes it absolutely impossible to be close to anyone. Noone is ever willing to give as much as I am.

I wish it would all just fucking stop.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The agents of oblivion descend upon the sane

Tired. Cold. Hungry. Hollow. Whiny? Whiny. But I'm sick fuck you, and so incredibly bored. Another reason to miss Canada, atleast in Montreal there's Gamezone. I could've asked my canindians to get some PS2-goodies. But no, I'm stuck in the woods. Yesterday I was watching the World Junior Hockey Championships with my parents. My mom was babbling the whole time. "Why can't they have other colours on the puckle (yes, she calls it the puckle) I can't see where it goes and why does that guy have such a geeky moustache and HEY THEY RAN OVER OUR GOALIE I'VE NEVER-" and so on.

But atleast I have Acid Bath.



Mmm, Acid Bath.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Oh Swedes.

I went to the doctor today, she took one look at my ear and told me what I already knew, and sent me off to the pharmacy. So I'm waiting for my penicillin, with blood seeping out of my ear and a bunch of children staring at me in amazement. The pharmacy lady-person passes me the pills and this stuff I'm supposed to drip into the ear four times a day, and starts explaining how often I'm supposed to take the meds and all that, when she suddenly goes "oh shit". "What?" I cleverly countered. "The doctor didn't specify which ear you're supposed to put it in".

Like, really. They let this person work with prescription drugs? She thinks I can't figure out which one of my own ears is deaf? I probably wouldn't be able to keep track if I put my hands to both my ears and checked which one goes red either. So I'm like "I think I can handle it. And I have a 50/50 chance of getting it right even if I'm uncertain since I only have two ears", with my sweetest undetectable-sarcasm-voice that I've worked on a lot since coming back home. And the woman lights up, like really goes :D:D:D:D:D, like God had descended to share the secrets of sick-ear-detecting with her and spared her the agony of trying to help the poor patient figure things out. It was hilarious.
I spent the car ride home thinking about this woman. Do they let her drive? Do her own shopping? Does she have children, and if so, did she need a doctors help to figure out what mouth to put the food in when she fed them as babies?

It was an exciting day.

Yummy down on this.

I woke up at one in the morning with leftover panic lingering in my system. I soon figured out what was wrong. My eardrum had cracked and goo and blood won't stop dripping from it. Guess I should've taken that five month long infection to the doctor after all. Oh well.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Two thumbs up

Today is bliss. I was cleaning my closet and listening to Bloodhound Gang when I found my old quotes-book. Several good laughs ensued. Like at this one.

Linda: "WHAT THE FUCK MAN are you throwing knives at me?!"
Robin: "Yeah. Don't worry, I probably won't hit you. I throw like a girl."

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Reflections.

I often beat myself up for never accomplishing anything with my shitty excuse for a life. So I summed up what I've been doing the past two years and was, well, kinda positively surprised with what I actually found.

Almost exactly two years ago, I started university. I'll have my bachelors degree as soon as in two weeks, after having studied double-full time. Last year I also took summer classes, that got me inside UN and NATO, among other institutions. That was also the year I started traveling for real. I visisted Belgium and Holland with my summer school class, and returned there in November, with Will. He and I also went to Denmark, Germany, France and Switzerland.
I got to see my favourite japanese band in Stockholm, and I got to meet my best friend, when he visited Sweden in December 2007. With him, I also went to Finland.
June this year I fulfilled a ten year old dream, when I finally got to see Canada. Another dream, about as old, was fulfilled when I went to West Virginia to see BJ and Andy. I started taekwondo, which is one of the best things to ever happen to me, I got to know a whole bunch of awesome people, and I fell in love, despite my best efforts.

Eight new countries in two years. Plus I got to live with my best friend for 7 months out of 12 the past year. I did a shitload of stuff eh. And the best part of it all, I did it myself. I'm dirt poor but I'm diligent, neurotic but stubborn. I didn't let my demons get the best of me once, not fucking once. I didn't give up this time. I make less than half of minimum wage but I saved up and and paid everything myself. I had insane workloads from school, but I didn't fail one fucking class.

This was all quite awesome to discover. I also realized most the actual problems I have now, aren't even really mine. They're my parents, or my brothers, or my friends problems. That's why they hurt me so much more.
Another thing I realized, that really really sucks, is that most of the problems that are mine, derive from the fact that I feel like absolute shit about being me, mostly because I'm constantly made to be so much less than what I am. The people closest to me, the ones that should reinforce me, do the very opposite. I'm not sure what to do about that.

I do however know what to do now. I haven't eaten since breakfast yesterday morning since I've been busy puking my guts out every ten minutes the past 24 hours. It's a wonderful Swedish virus called vinterkräksjukan, gets me every year.

Happy new year, readers. Or psychos. I think both apply, for sticking with me this far.