Thursday, November 1, 2012

you're gonna leave an ugly skull when you go

I'm not really back yet. Just letting you know I'm still alive. Still trying to avert homelessness, still miserable 90% of my time, still madly in love with Dax Riggs' voice.
Earlier today I was lying on the floor listening to Acid Bath and Agents of Oblivion when my brother called to ask me if I could help him put new tires on his car. I told him I'd help out if he promised to play Hangman's Daughter at my funeral. "You're not getting a funeral, I'm just gonna put you in an oil barrel and dump you at sea" he said. That made me happy for no particular reason.

I'm gonna go on a little trip around Europe in a couple of weeks. I'm thinking Berlin, Prague, Vienna, maybe Ljubljana, Venice, Rome, and then back up through Turin and the alps to Munich and back home. Anyone around these areas want to meet up or hike along for a bit, let me know.

Also. I've kind of missed you guys.


Tuesday, February 14, 2012

V-day to me is just the day a bunch of people I liked a lot died. Oscar is of another opinion so we're still gonna endulge in sushi and the lastest episode of the Walking Dead to celebrate though.

For those of you in better luck, here's a couple of awesome cards you can give your significant other.




Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Wintar pickchars.












Also. I read a book called The Ninja by Eric van Lustbader. It's about a homosexual ninja who rapes his cousin and kills a lot of people in New York, because, why the fuck not. I know that sounds awesome but it really wasn't. This book was on the NY Times bestseller list for 22 weeks. I've spent all morning trying to figure out why. I can't think of anything though, so I'm just gonna move on to wondering what kind of inventions and buildings pigs would create if they had hands.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

'Sup.
Link
So yeah. My last entry was written in October last year. This is probably the longest hiatus I've ever had from writing.

A few things have happened since then, most of them have been really good. Oscar and I went to Stockholm and Gamex in November. I've never been to a videogame convention before, and even though it was pretty small, it was pretty damn great. I met up with an old friend, V, who also happened to be involved in arranging the whole thing. I hadn't seen V in almost five years and we used to be really close, so that was pretty nice. Oscar also had a bunch of cool friends coming that I really enjoyed meeting.

Best things about Gamex 2011:

1) Children talking about cannibalism on the subway on the way there.
2) Level Up, a band that had a mini-concert at the convention. I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd hear the Duck Tales-theme played on a violin, and love it.
3) An old man standing around with a beercan on his head.
4) Hearing the words pants and salvation used in the same sentence.


The other thing I wanted to tell you about is something really strange that happened about a month ago. Someone was furiously banging on the front door pretty late one evening. I opened it, and outside stood a complete stranger with a machete in his hand, covered in blood. He was really terrified. Naturally, I let him in.

Turns out he lives a few blocks away from my place. Machete-guy and his friend had gone down to the store to buy cigarettes, and when they came back to his apartment, they ran into three guys with guns who had broken in while they were away.

Machete-guy, who had previous experience with burglars, had an ”emergency machete” (I loved that word) which he used to slice one of them in the face. His friend was beaten unconscious and Machete-guy ran, with two of the burglars on his tail. He ran out on the road and stopped a car but the driver refused to take him any further than to the corner my house is on. So he got out and ran up to the nearest house with the lights on, which happened to be mine, to get away from
the guys with the guns.

I let him in, made him tea and let him use the phone to call the police and an ambulance. He was shocked as fuck and really scared. Said he'd moved here to start a new life, away from drugs and crime. Seems like he kinda failed there. Oh well, atleast his friend survived and neither he nor I got shot in the process, so I guess it's all good.

Other than that, I also got a job. It's a piece of shit job with a piece of shit pay, but it's certainly better than nothing and it'll keep me afloat for now. Yay!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

I know, I know, I'm getting worse and worse at this. I'm so sick/depressed lately I can't even be assed to write in this stupid thing, even less do anything useful.
The other day I found huge, gray slimy patches of mold in the ceiling and on the wall behind my closets, which explains why I've been sick for such a long time. I thought it was just the whole being a female neckbeard that got me sick and sad, but I should have known better. I mean, Batman lives in his parents' basement and he's way cooler than I'll ever be, so that shouldn't bother me that much right?
Anyway, I'm sleeping on the floor in the living room now, which sucks but atleast my sickness is getting better. And my dog loves it, she lies next to me and stares me in the eyes and slaps me enthusiastically with her paw every time she suspects I'm gonna stop scratching her and go to sleep. My insomnia is grateful to her, it really needed help now that I've got bitch-strong sleeping meds.

So, for now I'm focusing on recovering. Once I'm back on my feet I'm gonna start working out really hard again. Think I'm gonna pick up another language too. Gotta have something to do the next few months before moving across the planet.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

You know why I don't go parachuting? Because the first time you go you have to do it in a tandem jump, with an instructor on your back. Now what if that instructor cuts the harness so that he's the only one with the parachute, and you have to hold on to him for dear life to survive, and he bends your arms up on your back and sticks his cock in your ass and tells you the only way you're getting down alive is to clench your sphincter so hard it'll keep you attached to his body all 10 000 meters down?

This could happen to you.

And that's why I don't go parachuting.

In other news, I've spent the past few weeks lying on the floor watching old episodes of Dexter, because I've been too fucking depressed to do anything else. I still kind of am, but I figured I owed you guys an update.
Atleast the upside is that moving abroad seems like a better and better option every day. Come winter, I'm gonna sell everything I can't fit in a backpack and just fuck off.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I have cactus fertilizer in my pants. Don't ask.

I also sold my tv so now I can afford to buy medicine for my dog and shampoo for myself. Yay! Not that I expect to get a job interview soon, but I do suspect the chances of landing a job are greater if I don't look like a pile of driftwood. Which is what I do when I don't wash my hair, since I haven't had a haircut since March. That shit is expensive here.

So, I've decided that if I don't get a job by winter, I'm moving abroad for a year instead. The alternative is living under a bridge and I'm just not too interested in doing that in a country as cold as this one.